"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us" Virginia Satir "Never, never let others define you"--this short, yet powerful phrase was echoed by former Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith during his acceptance speech following his induction into the Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio just a few short months ago. They were such powerful and motivating words that when I heard them I could not help but recall the many times I allowed others to define me even when I knew they were wrong. A few years ago I wrote a blog about how my 6th grade P.E. teacher nonchalantly mentioned to me, an influential kid, that I would never be a runner because I could not finish running the 600 yard run required to pass the Presidential Fitness Test. Somehow I took these words to heart and I allowed them to define me for the next 30 plus years. Every time I attempted to become a ‘runner’ and fell short, I recalled those words that were etched in my memory and I began to believe them. I believed that I would never be a runner--that was until I decided I would no longer allow anyone to define me. The process did not happen overnight. It took days, weeks, months, and yes, even years to let go of a stigma I had carried with me for far too long. It was almost easier to fall back on those words than it was to go through the training and perseverance it took, not only to become a runner, but to actually call myself a runner. It wasn’t easy. Running is tough. I can still recall my first 30 second run I ever did on the treadmill at my gym over four and a half years later. My first run, I was left gasping for air with burning legs and a pounding heart that I must confess I did consider giving up. After all giving up was something that I had grown accustomed to doing when anything that I considered tough stood in my way. But this journey was going to be different. I was no longer going to allow my fear to stand in my way of meeting a life-long goal to be a runner. I did a nice recovery walk until I was ready to pick it back up for a 30 second run yet again. I repeated this scenario over the next several months until I was able to run 2 miles without stopping. Funny how after all these years I still remember where I was in the gym, which treadmill I was on and even what I was wearing the day I decided to never let anyone define me. It's hard not to let go, but it is far easier when you have others believe in you and share in your dream. This journey is not about being the best--it's about being the BEST me I can be and not allowing others to tell me otherwise. Have you or do you allow others to define you? What has been your biggest obstacle of letting go of the stigma others define you as?
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Not a lot of criticism has been said DIRECTLY to me. But Ive had to deal with who I am when rejected, trashed, deceived, and despised by 'friends.' Report
Weight creeping up was an issue. Now am 23 lbs lighter so far Thanx to spark and life is good. I love the idea of our XS weight being the box filled with the "shoulda" "coulda" "shouldn't" etc. Just never give up and go through the heart to discover that each of us are created in the image and likeness of God. Get out there, turn it over to the Big Guy/Gal/Spirit saying " it's all yours. Don't embarrass yourself!
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"I guess you were meant to be big-boned."
"It looks like diets just aren't going to work for you."
"I wouldn't have picked you out in a crowd."
YES...things are said that we don't easily forget, IF EVER. And especially as young people, they cut us, form and shape us...because we allow them to do so. We often times haven't been through enough to discover that people all have opinions but those opinions ARE NOT set in stone prophesies of who we must be or will be.
As adults, these comments still sting, but our amigdula is fully formed and we can make decisions on our own to be who we will, without allowing other's opinions to shape us.
YES! I have a pretty face, but my bones are like everyone else's. No, diets don't work for me... life plans do, but not because YOU say so. And I wouldn't have picked you out in a crowd either. So what?
Live your life. LIVE your life. Live YOUR life. Report
Words in which so many of us can relate!
Thanks for sharing - you've given me alot to think about today....
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When my weight had ballooned up to 200 lbs on a 5'4" frame, I was fed up. Over a year, I lost 50 lbs on Weight Watchers and have been within 10 lbs of my goal weight for 7 and a half years.
When I was feeling lighter, I decided to try running instead of using the elliptical. I fell in love with it and started training for long distances. A little over a year later I completed my first half marathon, and most of my health problems as a kid seemed to have disappeared.
When I look back at the pudgy shy kid who never thought she was athletic at all, I realize how far I've come as a person and as an athlete. I never thought I'd be able to run one mile continuously let alone 13.1!
Everyone can change their situation when they're unhappy with something. Once I finally found the motivation to lose the weight, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can't begin to describe how it's changed my life for the better. Report
But YAY FOR YOU!!!!! Report
I had a boss once who told me I was fat and that I would never be able to complete a 5K (he was a runner). That kicked me into gear, and I lost weight and have since completed six 5K races...so, HA!
Great blog, Nancy. I always look forward to your inspirational words. Report
For that reason, when my godchildren were small, we did a lot of art work - but NEVER drawing a specific thing - I encouraged them to do all kinds of abstract art, using lots of different techniques. Result: Today both of them are adults, with a lot of artistic ability and creativity. They can draw and paint, are great at decorations and have a small business making handmade greeting cards! Report