BLACKCOFFEE519
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I've been heavy for most of my life. Which is weird, because I was a skinny child until puberty hit. Puberty intensified my anxiety, instead of just being anxious about my decisions, I was now anxious about my body. By the time I was 18, I was in the 200's. I met and fell in love with my wonderful spouse right after high school. I gained some new relationship weight, but didn't really pay attention to it because I was loved. I started working and my life became really stressful. I was miserable and ate to drown my sorrows. I am definitely someone who eats their feelings. Soon I was roughly 280 pounds. My wife deployed in 2012 for the first time. I was convinced that I would lose the weight, keep it off, and tackle my depression all at once! And I did! While she was deployed I was the happiest I'd ever been, so happy that I required very little sleep. I had no qualms about exercising, why had I never tried before now?! I exercised for hours. I ate fantastic, too. My puzzle pieces just fit together, no struggle. Until about 7 months later: when exercising became hard, I suddenly doubted all of the calories I was consuming (calorie counting never seems like an exact science to me), and I began to obsess over everything. At one point, I bagged my food on a food scale and wrote out the nutritional information on the bag, so I would know just how much I was consuming. I was constantly frustrated. My wife was coming home and I had plateaued at a roughly 50 pound weight loss. I wanted so badly to be under 200 pounds when she came home. I wasn't. Fast forward a few months. I was still obsessed with my weight, but I was sick. I was so sick that leaving my house became a very, very scary thing. Eventually I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with major depression. I started taking an antidepressant and things were looking up for me! I lost almost 20 pounds in a month, I never slept, and I had so much energy. I was also ridiculously paranoid. I knew something was off, but I didn't want to admit it to my primary. Unfortunately, I had to make an appointment to get a refill (which she denied, thankfully). I was sent to a psychiatrist and was then diagnosed (correctly) with bipolar disorder. I've been diagnosed for 9 months, but my weight is still an issue. I still struggle with depression and wanting to stay inside. I'm at my all time high of 282.8 now. I'm only 24. I am hoping that I can (finally) lose my weight, healthily.

My name is Kimberly and I enjoy cats, dogs, reading, and baking. I just started school and I am planning on majoring in English. I like to shop and wear makeup, but my weight makes me feel uncomfortable. I love drinking coffee, it's my favorite beverage in the world. Lol. I've recently been transplanted to the suburbs of Chicago (surprisingly, besides when I drove through to move here, I haven't been into the city). I'm originally from Florida and I don't miss it at all. I enjoy yoga (even though I'm not a natural contortionist) and running (even though I am currently too heavy to really run). I ran a 5K while I was manic and I loved it! I would love to have that confidence back.


Member Since: 12/29/2014

Fitness Minutes: 30

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