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Introduction Text �Peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one''''s own soul.� I have been deemed "fat" most of my life. Family would say, "oh she just has baby fat". Or say "you will grow out of it". I was in societies eyes the fuzzy awkward worm. The thing people shied away from because I didn''''t look comfortable in my skin or I wasn''''t what they thought I should be. But I have a secret. Come close and I''''ll whisper it to you. Inside this awkward worm is a beautiful butterfly waiting for her time to pop out and fly. I am wrapping myself up in my cocoon. Preparing myself to molt away what I have held onto for years and one day I will burst free and fly out a magnificent Butterfly! I am glad that I have found SP. When I started out I was unsure if I could even make it this far. I came in with little "no" power or consistency. Today, I have lost some weight and I have gained will power and confidence in myself. I''''m walking my first 5K with some great ladies here at SP. I love that I have other beautiful butterflies with me on this journey. One day we''''ll all fly out of our cocoons and spread our wings & worlds with magical beauty. Key the music, Sam. {come fly with me, lets fly, lets fly away...) **** Done with excuses**** ****Done with pity parties**** ****Done with letting others dictate me**** ****Done with self harm which is what knowingly not taking myself is**** ****Done with giving up or not finishing what I start**** I AM DONE WITH NOT LIVING LIFE ON MY TERMS!!!!!! Update 7/1/2014 Third time will be the charm. No more Excuses! Putting on the gloves and I''''m not going down without a fight. I''''ve been back since 6/8 and I''''ve lost 5 lbs. If I keep my goals realistic and my feet continue to move and I work on my emotional eating and habits I can do this. No more promises just pushing for results. I can do this is if I just don''''t stop, just don''''t give up, just remember this is life for me from this moment forward. Goals: 1) Down to 260 / reward haircut -- Feb 2015 2) Down to 248 / reward mani-pedi -- 3) Down to 232 / reward pierce nose -- 4) Down to 220/ reward massage/ spa getaway wknd trip -- 5) Down to 205 / reward New Schwinn Bike -- 6) Down to 190 / reward Zumba Certification -- 7) Down to 175 / reward Digital Camera -- 8) Down to 158 / reward LED Hula Hoop -- 9) Down to 145 / reward BIG trip using passport -- I can''''t wait to meet the new me! Guess this space is for when I get there: Update 10/25/2010 Gained back weight since January... Trying again and so far I have lost: 4.2 lbs and am eating healthy. I am following the BL Diet where you get up and drink 2 glasses of H2O in the morning then eat for bf 1/2 protien 1 whole grain serving and 1 fruit, for snack 1 1/2 protien serv and 1 fruit serv, for Lunch 1 protein serving 1/2 whole grain serving and one veg serv, for snack 2 1/2 protein serv and 1 fruit serv, for dinner 1/2 protein serv 1/2 whole grain serv and 2 veg serv and no more than 200 calories from extra stuff. I am trying to become faithful to this as much as I can and drink 80 oz of H2O a day. Wish me Luck and I am routing you on too. We can do this together. Update 1/3/2010 - Results from 4 week goal starting 12/8/2009: Wk 1 lost = 2.4 lbs Wk 2 lost = .4 lbs Wk 3 lost = -1 lb Wk 4 lost = 3 lbs Goal = 10 lbs Lost = 4.8 lbs Missed goal by 5.2lbs Still moving forward! Honestly I didn''''t do well with my eating habits and drinking water. Looking to lose 10 lbs by 1/31/2010. I can do this! Update 11/17/2009 - I fell off of the spark wagon. I sadly not only gained back what I had lost while here but gained about 20lbs more. I was watching biggest loser and I thought this isn''''t the way I want to live my life. Rebecca from the show started out at the weight I am right now. She looks great. I want to look great. I may never be a size 6. My body wasn''''t made to be that size but I can be a healthier happier me and the only thing standing in my way of that is me. So here I am again recommitting to myself that I love me and I want all that me is supposed to have and more.

I want to lose around 110 pounds and get healthier and more active. I am also working on a long term goal of completing my college degree/career. I want to break it down in to 4 phases of 3 month goals. Beginning SP weight is: 267 Lost 15 Lbs Gained back 22 lbs New Start weight: 275 Current weight is: 267 Weigh in is the 8th of each month . Goals for the 1st phase is to loss 30 lbs and monthly goals are: Month 1 goal is 10 lbs. Lost: 8lbs Walk 30 miles Walked: 31 miles Fitness Minutes 500 - 6/28/14 Actual: 962 Month 2 goal is 10 lbs. Lost: Walk 35 miles Walked: Fitness Minutes 750 Actual: Month 3 goal is 10 lbs. Lost: Walk 40 miles Walked: Fitness Minutes 1000 Actual:

Program Update: 6/8/14 Program for next 4 wks: Walk the dog every day. Strength training on Mon, Wed, Fri. 2 reps of 15 crunches 2 reps of 15 wall push ups 2 reps of 15 wall squats 2 reps of 15 lateral lunges Do a cardio video 6 times a wk 50 minutes a day. Do bedtime yoga every night. Do a #100HappyDay Blog every day. Less table sugar Less white simple carbs Less fried foods Less eating out Drink more Water

My name is Michelle. I am 39 years old and have been at Sparkpeople for years. When I first came I lost some weight. Things happened and I gave up. I tried again but I just couldn't get myself back. Now I weigh more than I have ever weighed. I gained back all the weight lost plus 20 lbs. I struggle with being able to push myself. I hope I can find others that can help push me until I can push myself and return the favor to someone else that struggles just like me.

It is a mistake to look to far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time. -- Sir Winston Churchhill Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses. -- Norman Vincent Peale Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Prov 3:6

Add a Link DONE girls don't quit. �Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.�- Mae West SW - 275 CW - 267.2 GW - 170 "Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses." -- Norman Vincent Peale
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