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Introduction Text Update 9/25/14: Ok, official retirement date: December 31st 2014. The paperwork has been started after my appointment with the retirement board in August. I handed in my retirement notification that same day! So it's for real, and I can't wait! Had some down time, I felt a bit overwhelmed and had to back off a bit so I didn't start to resent being here. But I had to remember that I am a self isolator and that is a big no-no for me! With the help and love of some absolutely incredible SparkFriends I remembered I am NOT alone here! I'm fighting a little with my weight, and I have worked on getting my exercise routine back in order. I can do this!! And I will!!! Update 3/7/14: I've been meaning to do an update for a while now. I'm getting prepared for the next phase! I am in my last official year of being a part of the "working world". I will be retiring on January 31st, 2015 and I am spending this year making sure I am prepared. I am nervous, I am excited...I am ready. I am still in maintenance, I have been holding my weight in the 5 pound range I've allowed for almost 2 years now. I haven't had a drink in over 2 years, I haven't had a cigarette in over 3 years and I am healthier than I think I have ever been. I love exercising, more as time goes on. And I can't wait until my days are all mine and I can expand even more! I have been a member of the Spark World for more than 5 years now. And I can't say how much it, and my incredible friends, have changed just who I am. I'm different. I'm better. I feel whole. I won't say it was easy, I WILL say it was worth it. Update 8/29/13: Well, birthday came and went and I'm still alive! And actually, alive in a way that I have not been for a whole bunch of years! I have 21 months of sobriety under my belt, I haven't had a cigarette in 2 1/2 years, I've reached and have been staying at around 121-22 pounds, I LOVE to exercise and I keep getting younger(at least that is how it feels) every day! I haven't said anything because it felt a bit like I would be "tooting my own horn", but by golly, I think it's ok to say I have worked hard and it shows! In my body of course, but mostly and most importantly, inside. I am...is this gonna jinx me?....happy. Life isn't perfect, but when is it ever? It's good enough for me. Update 2/27/13: I have the big "60" coming up here in less than a month. I have been maintaining my weight, sometimes not as "healthily" as I would like and I am working on that now. I am working on my "Mind, Body and Spirit" a LOT more these days. I want to spend the rest of my time here, however long that may end up being, being as healthy in both my body and soul as I can attain. I'm finding "content", I'm finding I like it. Update 1/13/13: I have been in maintenance mode for the last six months. It hasn't been a walk in the park, but I have been doing it. I seem now to be centering on what is going on inside more than outside, this has been a relatively painful process. I'm not unhappy, just feel like there has to be more. So I'm going to work on that now. Update 6/30/12: My life has started to feel like a book. I keep �turning� pages and each time I do I don�t really know what is coming next. I do know that I am excited about whatever it is! I have begun to believe that I am going to be just fine. That is saying a lot�..I still have days that I feel like �Why am I DOING this?! It�s just all going to end badly. I�m going to get hurt.� I have so much trouble with trust. My history with trusting people in the past has been notoriously unlucky, I have issues with thinking it will ever be any different. But I have decided that my �stupid self� (real person here, she reared her ugly little head just a couple of days ago!) is just not going to win here. I have worked too hard and come too far to let her push me around anymore. Right now I�m going to be doing some catching up. I need to get some laundry done, catch up on housework and things like that. I was so caught up in making it to the Walk that I tunneled my thoughts to what needed to be done for that and I did not worry about what wasn�t getting done. You know, it�s still there waiting! Hehe�.once I get some stuff caught up I�m going to turn that page and see what�s next! How COOL is that?!? Update 4/3/12: I have spent some time trying to figure out how to change my profile image to reflect that I have "Lost 60 Pounds!" and have NEVER had any luck at it! I know why, God does not want me to show the reflection of my life as how much weight that I have lost. When I looked at "Creating a New Me!" today, I realized that that statement means soooo much more than what the scale says, it means...getting dressed in the morning even when I know I won't be going anywhere but out the front door, and making sure I DO go out the front door, signing up for the Avon Walk for Life even though the idea of talking, asking, walking, doing is so scary to me, planning, and not canceling, lunch with my dearest friend just so I can connect with her. It's the learning, the knowing, and the DOING that creates a new me, not what the scale says!! How COOL is that?!? (Although losing 60 pounds does NOT suck!!) :0) August 15th 2011: I was looking at my SparkPage today, I had no idea that I have a two and a half year Sparkversary coming up in less than three weeks and have not even looked at what was on this page for most of it. Things have changed for me, for the better, for the worse, for the inevitable. I had gotten my weight down to 163 lbs and then just kind of slid back up to 198 lbs, 5 lbs away from my original weight. As you can see, I've been able to start the downward move again, but I have begun to believe that this is part of a much larger picture, losing weight is just the beginning and I want to discover it all! Bought The Spark, have read it through and now I'm going to study from beginning to end for my own healthy future.

Update 2/27/13: I am still in maintenance, have found I stay right around 127, which is fine. I am working VERY hard to improve my eating habits, and to get more water in, my sorest spot. I need to learn to eat breakfast and to eat more "freggies". These are my goals.

While walking is my first choice, with the colder weather I have been stuck inside. I work out on my Total Gym, I am on level "2" now, moved up from "1" the first of the year and I plan to go up another level in June. (Eeeep!) That is my strength training and my cardio, done on alternate days, is done on my WII Fit Plus. I have begun to move up to the harder levels on that, and I am huffing and puffing when I get done these days!

Living in Denver, CO, been here most of my life. I am totally into ratties, I have a little girl, the other two I had are now at the Rainbow Bridge, and 4 boys that were abandoned at a clinic and needed someone to love them that are the light of my life, although I have had a very many lights in the 11 years since I got my first little girl! Like the Dumbo babies best!

Update 2/27/13: I am in recovery, I have been sober for 21 months now. I am working on Mind, Body and Spirit. God has a plan for me, he is going to keep me alive until I get it accomplished and I have decided I am going to be as happy and healthy as I can manage in the meantime!

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