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DDOORN is a SparkPeople Motivator!

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Eight years with SparkPeople! What an amazing virtual "home" and support network my SparkFamily has been! I am finding that even at 50+ years of age, I'm still working on finding who I am...! It's such a process. A few years ago I came across a song others here at SparkPeople might appreciate. As I listened to it I was overwhelmed with grief and excitement all at once: it captured my ongoing struggles so WELL! The parts of me that I've held back throughout my life, yet freeing so much potential NOW in my life for doing things that either were not possible before or that I would not allow myself to do.

Somebody actually KNEW what I was going through!

Without my weight, both literal and psychological, it's time for me to realize that it is truly safe to come out into the world and be as genuine and true to myself as I can. I've always so heavily censored myself in the past, especially the more child-like, fun-loving, spontaneous part of myself. Always out of poor self-esteem...fat boys can't be carefree, must always be on the lookout for ways to be acceptable to others! Because I certainly wasn't acceptable just as I was, without conditions...

My savings grace was that there was always a voice inside that held onto all the experiences I wouldn't allow myself to express. As a child, when I spent my summers living a block away from Lake Michigan, I used to LIVE in the lake. My weight wasn't a handicap in the water! I would swim for hours at a time, as far out from the shore as I could. Resting while floating on my back, mostly oblivious of the lifeguards and their attempts to whistle me back closer to the shore. I would swim far out beyond the buoys marking the swimming area feeling as free and fun-loving as a child could be. I'm trying my best to re-visit and celebrate this child.

I can't remember when a song has shaken me so much! Really opened my eyes to what I've been working on UNDERNEATH all the weight loss and healthy lifestyle pursuits! It's beginning to dawn on me that so many things I've censored from my life I can now pursue if I choose.

So this song has become my new mantra...beyond losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle, I am going to do my best to be...

Alive In The World
by Jackson Browne, Solo Acoustic Volume 2

I want to live in the world,
not inside my head
I want to live in the world,
I want to stand and be counted
With the hopeful and the willing
With the open and the strong
With the voices in the darkness
Fashioning daylight out of song
And the millions of lovers
Alive in the world

I want to live in the world,
not behind some wall
I want to live in the world,
where I will hear if another voice should call
To the prisoner inside me
To the captive of my doubt
Who among his fantasies harbors
the dream of breaking out
And taking his chances
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

With its beauty and its cruelty
With its heartbreak and its joy
With it constantly giving birth to life
and to forces that destroy
And the infinite power of change
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

Here's an Amazon link to download the mp3 of this song for 99 cents!

Member Since: 4/21/2007

Fitness Minutes: 176,088

My Goals:
I am making a concerted effort to lose 30 pounds in the next 6 months. I'm tired of "settling" for the mid-200s and want to make a concerted effort to reach a true goal weight of 200 and KEEP IT THERE!

My Program:
Daily cardio workout (usually elliptical or spinning bike) of 30-60 minutes.

When I can get outside and have the time I enjoy Nordic walking / jogging with my Leki Instructor walking poles.

I also love to hit the open road on my bicycle... especially my Specialized Tricross Sport Double! :-)

Strength-building with weights 3x weekly.

Since 01/2014 I have been faithfully tracking my food to help me close in on my goal weight and it has been AMAZINGLY HELPFUL!

Additional changes which I have locked in: 1) zero-sugar, 2) zero-grains and 3) limit my eating to only between the hours of noon to 8-9 pm, thereby creating a daily "fast" during the hours outside of that time frame.

I need to keep my food choices as simple as possible and for the most part my food is fresh veggies with some fruit. For protein I rely on dairy, legumes, nuts and limited quantities of meat...generally lean chicken and tuna.

I love tossing a variety of thi

Personal Information:
My name is Don and I am a clinical social worker from upstate (i.e. rural, NOT the Big Apple!) New York.

I am married and we have one adult son.

Other Information:
The most inspiring moment in a movie for me was in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest when Chief ripped that sink fixture off the floor, threw it through the window, hopped out and ran into the free world.

For me, that is the PERFECT metaphor for my weight loss!

Read More About DDOORN - Profile Information moved here. (Updated May 10)

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 Pounds lost: 102.2 
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  • v L*I*T*A*
    thanks for you kind words on my blog...................blessings and hugs..................lita
    4746 days ago
    Glad you found my blog interesting. Personal Note: When you get a chance go through that guy's entire site. It is valuable to you now if for nothing else than to have it fresh in your head for when you decide to utilize it later.

    I also have tried the designer whey he speaks of...it really is good. Even my 6yo loves it. She drinks chocolate whey and rice milk instead of chocolate milk...I can actually see cute little muscles popping out in her legs and arms...I also saw it help her swim team performance.

    Good luck with your scheduling your surgery...keep me posted.

    4747 days ago
    Thank you (LOL) for the flowers... I dont forsee Mrs Fields as a thorn in my butt for more punishment!!!
    4748 days ago
    Thank you for the comment on mu blog page. I know I should de-junk but I can also buy it if I really wanted it too! I had the goodies for a while and was to eat a single bag if I have a taste for them. That is why I only got 1 oz bags instead the big bags. But I went off the wagon and went to Ms fields that is what messed me up!!! But I am alright..Thanks!!! Kim
    4748 days ago
    Thanks for your welcome and the flowers!
    I've added the goal to not eat after dinner- That's one of my big problems. Looking forward to some of the other challenges.
    Your weight loss is an awesome motivator. Congrats!
    4750 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/1/2008 10:00:35 AM