KPHEALTHY4LIFE
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  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Friday, and time for some laughs. Lately, the Friday Just for Giggles have become quite a big dill around here, but I doughnut want to taco 'bout it. However, I yam relishing the positive feedback, and I'd give a penne for your thoughts. . .

    I hope you find these puns quite a-peeling because they are all "injest".

    I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
    One day I hope to become a bouillonaire.

    I'd love to be shipwrecked on a dessert island.

    Heinz recently improved the taste of its tomato sauce.
    The rest of the food manufacturers were left to ketchup.

    I knock on the door of the refrigerator before I open it; just in case the salad's dressing.

    I was going to share another vegetable pun, but it was too corny.

    And last, but not yeast . . .

    Green vegetables give me gas. We're talkin' kale force winds.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
    5 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    It's Friday once again! While recently shopping to renew my medical insurance just before the holidays, I had this thought . . . Insurance and hospital gowns have a lot in common; you're not really covered as much as you think you are.

    Also, I recently heard there's a new kind of flu going around. It's called the Amish Flu. First you get a little hoarse, and then you get a little buggy.

    My neighbor who's a nurse told me that the other day, she went into a patient's room to check his vitals, and saw an apple on the bedstand. As she was taking his pulse she remarked, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." He replied, "You know, you're right. I haven't seen a doctor in three days!"

    When I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office, I was surprised to see I gained a few pound, and weighed 144 pounds.
    Offhandedly I turned to the nurses aide as she was ready to enter it into my chart, winked, and said, "Why don't you just take off that last four?"
    Several minutes later my doctor came in, flipped open my chart and said, "I see you've lost weight. You're down to 14 pounds!"

    Another neighbor's son is in medical school and needed to decide on his medical specialty.
    Even though he had excelled in all his anatomy, biology, and physiology courses he had
    decided he didn't like surgery. His advisor simply replied "Suture self."

    Have a wonderful weekend!
    12 days ago
  • v LKASOFF
    Thanks for adding me as a friend. Happy New Year! 🥳
    25 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    Thank you for reading and commenting on the 12 Days of Christmas blog, and
    joining and spreading some joy this Christmas!

    I love sharing the The 12 Days of Christmas Joy with you,
    And I hope that you are enjoying it, too.

    Thank you for joining in to share Christmas joy and love,
    For that is truly what Christmas is REALLY made of.
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    38 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
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    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Santa
    Santa who?
    I Santa Christmas card to you. Did you get it?

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Elf
    Elf who?
    Elf me wrap this present please.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Holly.
    Holly who?
    The Holly-days are here again.


    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Anna.
    Anna who?
    Anna partiridge in a pear tree-eeeee.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Avery.
    Avery who?
    Avery Merry Christmas to you!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Snow.
    Snow who?
    Snow time to waste; Christmas is almost here!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Coal.
    Coal who?
    Coal me if you hear Santa coming!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Donut
    Donut who?
    Donut open this 'til Christmas!

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Justin.
    Justin who?
    Justin time for Christmas cookies!

    I hope you got a few HO HO HOs from these today. Have a joyful weekend!
    40 days ago
Member Comments (564):  123Next >Last >>