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Me at 134.5lbs!

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All of my childhood I was “the skinny one.” I was almost always outside doing something active in the dry Nevada desert, and never had any weight issues.

This changed in 1999 when my father suddenly died. After the death of my dad, I was forced to move to a different state to live with my aunt, and as a result my diet and activity levels changed as well.

I went from being a vegan who ate almost solely healthy whole foods (my dad loved to cook--especially Asian foods like stir-fry with brown rice) to eating a diet that consisted mainly of pre-packaged, dairy, refined, fast, and/or junk food.
I also spent most of my time indoors because of the cold climate and the fact that my friends lived hundreds of miles away.

My aunt did not like to cook and ate out for most of her meals. After a few years, I got to the point where I was always craving junk food and never became full.

With no restrictions, I used junk food to comfort myself. I certainly needed a lot of comfort at this time, grieving the loss of not only my father, but three grandparents, several other friends and relatives and later my estranged mother…all by age fifteen. I ended up gaining about 67 pounds in two short years.

Before moving in with my aunt, I was home schooled by my dad. I entered high school and it was a totally different world that I did not fit into. I was fat, and it was during my sophomore year that I began to realize to what extent. You know what I’m talking about, the fat pictures where you don’t believe it’s you!

Over the summer I went on a crash diet and lost it all, ending up at 5’5” and a slender 124lbs. I felt great and everyone was noticing me. However, I went about losing weight the wrong way, with a lot of guilt and self-denial. Not to mention, my boyfriend at the time urged me to lose more and more weight by skipping meals. It got so bad that at one point my art teacher asked me if I was anorexic. I was certainly orthorexic and borderline bulimic. I was so phobic of food, and would try to avoid it at all costs.

Starting my freshman year of college, I began taking hormonal birth control, and slowly gained all the weight back over two years, maxing out at 168lbs. On top of that, I was stuck in a bad relationship that I didn’t know how to escape. It was a terrible cycle; afraid that no one would want me with all the extra weight and depression, I stayed in the bad relationship.

Slowly, however, I began believing in myself and putting myself first. I thought, "If I can lose the weight, it will give me the confidence to leave him." I knew that if I was going to do it again, I could not handle the kind of diet I had put myself through in high school. Just trying to cut out certain foods and exercise didn’t have enough structure to keep me motivated; I would just gain it back. I began researching my options: I was going to do it right this time. I found SparkPeople and I lost 32lbs over the summer of my sophomore year in college. I have maintained a weight of about 135-142lbs for a little over a year-and-a-half.

At this point, I am trying to lose the rest of it before I go to France to study abroad in August. My goal weight is 123lbs. I would love to be really muscular and toned, so I’m trying to add weight training into my routine little by little. What I’m really struggling with right now is nervous binging.

I have been juicing fruits and vegetables at least once a week.
I go to a counselor once every two weeks.
I have broken the cycle of unhealthy relationships.
I am taking the stairs this time.

First Goal:
Go from 142 to 140
Goal reached on: 05.20.08

Second Goal:
Go from 140 to 138
Goal reached on: 06.09.08

Third Goal:
Go from 138 to 136
Goal reached on: 06.13.08

Fourth Goal:
Go from 136 to 135
Goal reached on: 06.30.08

Fifth Goal:
Go from 135 to 134
Goal reached on:

Sixth Goal:
Go from 134 to 132
Goal reached on:

Seventh Goal:
Go from 132 to 130
Goal reached on:

Eighth Goal:
Go from 130 to 128
Goal reached on:

Ninth Goal:
Go from 128 to 126
Goal reached on:

Tenth Goal:
Go from 126 to 124
Goal reached on:

Go from 124 to 123
Goal reached on:

Member Since: 7/23/2006

Fitness Minutes: 536

My Goals:

My Program:
1300-1800 calories a day.

Personal Information:

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 current weight: 136.6 
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  • v ALEX0203
    Hey I just read your "Bio":

    ''Before moving in with my aunt, I was home schooled by my dad. I entered high school and it was a totally different world that I did not fit into. I was fat, and it was during my sophomore year that I began to realize to what extent. You know what I’m talking about, the fat pictures where you don’t believe it’s you!''

    YES! I know exactly what you mean about those pictures lol. I was at Cedar Point this summer and my sister INSISTED that I was in a family group photo...anyways, when she got it developed, I saw it and I thought "omfg is that really me?" I seriously had to look at the photo closer. So, yeah, i know what it's like and that's not even the half of it.

    I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your friends and family, but I'm happy that things are getting better for you in terms of weight and I hope you can find some kind of comfort or closure with everything else that has happened.

    Ugh highschool was hard for me to. It hurts to even think about it. Where are you going to study abroad? I've always wanted to go to London to study (I'm a Photography major)..ttyl

    4279 days ago
  • v JAT1986
    MIA huh? Hope all is well...peace!
    4407 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/19/2008 1:31:11 PM
  • v JAT1986
    Hey! I was reading your page and we have similar stories. I lost my dad when i was in the 4th grade and my grandpa in the same yr. I lost my bro when i was in the 6th grade and more relatives the older i got. Congrats on your success so far...what you went through i can tell only made you stronger. Dont be a stranger and have a great week. Peace
    4413 days ago
    I am not sure how I stumbled upon your page but I just wanted to say that your personal story is very touching and I'm very glad to read that you are getting back on track with not just your diet/food choices but with your life/mental health as well! Keep up the good work. I know that I do not know you but I can tell just by what I have read on here that you are a strong individual and have amazing will power and strength! emoticon
    4414 days ago
    Thank You! I love your page. A very touching story! i am glad to see that you are in a good place now. You deserve good things to happen to you!

    4414 days ago
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