REDSQUIRREL

SparkPoints
 
Photos
See this image larger



See this image larger
138lbs



See this image larger
Me at 134.5lbs!


SparkGoodies
go to goodies page
Jack-O-Lantern
From:
SYLPHIDE
go to goodies page
Sunshine
From:
JILLIANWOLF
go to goodies page
Gold Star
From:
LITTLESPARROW1
Awards

 
Interact with REDSQUIRREL
Add as SparkFriend Send Private Message Leave Comment


All of my childhood I was “the skinny one.” I was almost always outside doing something active in the dry Nevada desert, and never had any weight issues.

This changed in 1999 when my father suddenly died. After the death of my dad, I was forced to move to a different state to live with my aunt, and as a result my diet and activity levels changed as well.

I went from being a vegan who ate almost solely healthy whole foods (my dad loved to cook--especially Asian foods like stir-fry with brown rice) to eating a diet that consisted mainly of pre-packaged, dairy, refined, fast, and/or junk food.
I also spent most of my time indoors because of the cold climate and the fact that my friends lived hundreds of miles away.

My aunt did not like to cook and ate out for most of her meals. After a few years, I got to the point where I was always craving junk food and never became full.

With no restrictions, I used junk food to comfort myself. I certainly needed a lot of comfort at this time, grieving the loss of not only my father, but three grandparents, several other friends and relatives and later my estranged mother…all by age fifteen. I ended up gaining about 67 pounds in two short years.

Before moving in with my aunt, I was home schooled by my dad. I entered high school and it was a totally different world that I did not fit into. I was fat, and it was during my sophomore year that I began to realize to what extent. You know what I’m talking about, the fat pictures where you don’t believe it’s you!

Over the summer I went on a crash diet and lost it all, ending up at 5’5” and a slender 124lbs. I felt great and everyone was noticing me. However, I went about losing weight the wrong way, with a lot of guilt and self-denial. Not to mention, my boyfriend at the time urged me to lose more and more weight by skipping meals. It got so bad that at one point my art teacher asked me if I was anorexic. I was certainly orthorexic and borderline bulimic. I was so phobic of food, and would try to avoid it at all costs.

Starting my freshman year of college, I began taking hormonal birth control, and slowly gained all the weight back over two years, maxing out at 168lbs. On top of that, I was stuck in a bad relationship that I didn’t know how to escape. It was a terrible cycle; afraid that no one would want me with all the extra weight and depression, I stayed in the bad relationship.

Slowly, however, I began believing in myself and putting myself first. I thought, "If I can lose the weight, it will give me the confidence to leave him." I knew that if I was going to do it again, I could not handle the kind of diet I had put myself through in high school. Just trying to cut out certain foods and exercise didn’t have enough structure to keep me motivated; I would just gain it back. I began researching my options: I was going to do it right this time. I found SparkPeople and I lost 32lbs over the summer of my sophomore year in college. I have maintained a weight of about 135-142lbs for a little over a year-and-a-half.

At this point, I am trying to lose the rest of it before I go to France to study abroad in August. My goal weight is 123lbs. I would love to be really muscular and toned, so I’m trying to add weight training into my routine little by little. What I’m really struggling with right now is nervous binging.

I have been juicing fruits and vegetables at least once a week.
I go to a counselor once every two weeks.
I have broken the cycle of unhealthy relationships.
I am taking the stairs this time.

First Goal:
Go from 142 to 140
Goal reached on: 05.20.08

Second Goal:
Go from 140 to 138
Goal reached on: 06.09.08

Third Goal:
Go from 138 to 136
Goal reached on: 06.13.08

Fourth Goal:
Go from 136 to 135
Goal reached on: 06.30.08

Fifth Goal:
Go from 135 to 134
Goal reached on:

Sixth Goal:
Go from 134 to 132
Goal reached on:

Seventh Goal:
Go from 132 to 130
Goal reached on:

Eighth Goal:
Go from 130 to 128
Goal reached on:

Ninth Goal:
Go from 128 to 126
Goal reached on:

Tenth Goal:
Go from 126 to 124
Goal reached on:

FINAL GOAL:
Go from 124 to 123
Goal reached on:


Member Since: 7/23/2006

Fitness Minutes: 536

My Goals:


My Program:
1300-1800 calories a day.






Personal Information:


Other Information:




Read More About REDSQUIRREL - Profile Information moved here.




Shown if member clicks "Read More"








(Shown after Message Board Posts)
Add a Link
Save Changes
My Ticker:
 current weight: 136.6 
168
156.75
145.5
134.25
123
Login to Leave Comment
Comments
Member Comments (99):  << First< Previous181920