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Hi. I'm not really sure what to write here. I used to be really, really in shape, then I had some bad things happen to me. Then I got into an abusive relationship. Then I gained 50 pounds. At my worst I weighed 172 pounds, and I went from 130 to 170 in a matter of a few months. Shopping for clothes that large made me sob, so I had nothing to wear but boy pajamas and sweatsuits that were way too tight. Today I am down to 165, and I wish that losing this weight was as easy as gaining it. I've been out of that horrid relationship for a while now, but I've become a binge eater. I eat as much as I can as fast as I can until I literally throw up all over myself. And every time it gets a little better, I seem to fall right back into a hole. I cannot stop thinking about food. I get cravings, and they just totally consume my every thought until I just give in and cram a bunch of food in my mouth. I've never been a drug addict or a smoker, thank heaven, but if it is anything like this, I can understand why it is so hard to quit.

I haven't been on a date in forever. I've been celibate for just over a year. And I think that I have started to substitute food for love and sex. I'm in therapy to try to work it all out, but that hour goes by too quickly, and just when I find the courage to say "Last night I ate cookies by the handful in rapid succession until I barfed" out loud, the time is up. So I heard about this site, and here I am.

Unfortunately, I am the kind of person who will help anyone who needs it, and I have motivated many people in my life to bigger and better things. Now that I am the one who needs the help, I find that I am too shy and too proud to admit it. I want so much to lose this weight, so if you have any motivation for me, please do not hesitate.

Member Since: 2/22/2008

Fitness Minutes: 3,158

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My overall goal is to get healthy and stay healthy.

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  • v JIBBIE49
    See you are on the HCG Diet Team. Thought you might like to watch this YouTube clip a girl put together. She's dropped 64# on the HCG Protocol, but she is doing sublingual.
    4033 days ago
    Just checking on you, my transparent friend.
    Where is your ticker?
    Sometimes laying it all out there is the perfect accountability to the success you desire.
    That's why I have pictures in my bathingsuit every 8 weeks.
    I totally understand how 1 hour goes so fast when you are trying to cram your life into it.
    How do I know?
    Because when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, changes are made.
    Thinking of you, my friend.
    4297 days ago
  • v MZLANE
    Are we serious? I'm serious! Are you serious? Lets do this. Females, in our 30's withing 25 miles of each other. Lets be here for each other, lets support each other, lets kick each others fat as*es into gear and change our lives for the better, be healthier happier people!

    Exercise = Health
    Health = Youth & Beauty

    Eat Veg, Drink Water, Drip Sweat!

    LOVE OURSELVES emoticon
    4316 days ago
    I'm originally from Tacoma.. Now I'm in NC... Just wanted to stop by and say hi....
    4346 days ago
    I wanted to stop by and tell you that you are not alone!!! Your story resounds in the ears of so many women!! You should use your gift of motivating others to create a support group for women who have been through the same things as you!! You sound like you have a beautiful heart with a lot of love to give. I look forward to seeing you find yourself inside the body you do not like!!! You ARE still there girl!!! Your new friend, Sharon emoticon
    4346 days ago
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