HEDUNK4473
Hello SlimKatie, I am 37 years old , have two children ,and am married. I wanted to reach out to you through Email because I don't have a facebook account. I don't always like being accessible to everyone all the time and others being in all parts of my life (like a fish in a fish bowl) Well this statement has become my life and I am embarrassed by who I have become physically. I already know I am strong. I didn't learn to read until I was a teen, I overcame that and even went to college. Something I couldn't have done without the support of my family , however now that it's over I find myself out of work and always playing catch up. Weather it be bills,kids,intellect,relationship or physically. I have run five marathons in my life but then a few years ago I started getting migraines like never before,it use to be only when that time of the month came and then it turned into all the time some of them lasting for days.Then a few years ago I started having seizures. I went to see a neurologist who informed me that I had seizures due to epilepsy which was triggered by my migraines and by stress. I have always been the piece maker and the glue and don't see this changing anytime soon,nor due I wish for it to because feeling of use is something very important to me. I however have lost my get up and go attitude. I no longer run due to fear, what if I am ten miles from home and have a seizure what if I am a mile, I hate that dizzy falling feeling but am now starting to feel like I am seizing in my life. I am always falling down and am finding it harder and harder to get back up. I usually dust myself off for my kids but what after there gone were am I of use then? I feel scared for what my financial, physical, relationship,and mental future hold. I am now taking keppra and things have been controlled but I am 195lbs at 5ft 1in. In a size 16 now were I was a size 4 and were being thin I know makes me no better than anyone else since I also know I need the help of others and would be arrogant to think I didn't, it makes me better and my life better. People don't take me seriously fat. They don't believe me when I say I've run five marathons, or that I've graduated college. I want to be respected, to be thought of as a great person, I think I am kind,brave,strong,smart and sexy. I want others to see me as such mostly I want my family to see me as such, I am still the same girl in need of a little help at 37. I don't want the pity,the eyes facing downward,the view of the backsides when I let others down. I want perfection in myself,I want to feel like the champion I felt I was after my first marathon,I want to feel apart of something bigger than myself. This is why I volunteer and due the kind of work that puts me in the poor house.I get as much as I give. I am crumbling like that cookie you speak of , I saw you on netflix and wanted to know if I might join your team for the next race. I am going to ask my besty's if they will help me train so I am not alone if something bad happens. Heather 1467 days ago