SPARK-VICKI
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My son Chris after losing almost 120 lbs.



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Me, Chris, & Bob: the two men in my life


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Jan. 22, 2020-UPDATE

Over the last 40 plus years I've been on numerous diets and lost a huge amount of weight. And until menopause hit, I managed to keep most of it off. But once menopause hit, and it hit me HARD, all bets were off. In the course of a little over a year I gained 100 lbs., and then over the next 10-11 years I gained another 34 lbs, making my all time high of 274 lbs. It's taken me 2-1/2 years to lose 41 lbs. and I still would like to drop another 40 lbs., just to feel I'm in a healthier weight range than I am now.
In the first 30 years of dieting, I went about it in a very unhealthy way, and developed an eating disorder that took me years to break away from (bulimia). But all I cared about at the time was getting the weight off, no matter what I had to do to do it. But I finally broke the habit of bulimia for the most part, but find it very easy to fall back into the outer lines of it if I'm not careful. Things like using fluid pills to help me get the weight down. Unless they are doctor's orders, no one should use fluid pills. It can cause severe dehydration and can bring on muscle cramps and a slew of other things. I know this first hand yet at times I still do it. Not good, but it's something I'm breaking myself of.
I think back to when I first started dieting and even though I was bigger than I should have been, my health over all was good. Extremely good, and I could do most anything I set out to do. And even though I did lose all the weight I wanted to lose, it took very little time for me to regain all the weight plus add on another 25 lbs. to what my all time high had been all those years ago. So in the end, I made a complete circle. And in all those years, not one day has gone by that I was truly happy over how I looked. There was ALWAYS something I could improve on. Thinking about it now just makes me sad.
These days my focus is mainly on trying to just get a little healthier so I can do away with the blood pressure pills. I realized though last night that it's really not my "diet" or "weight" that has caused the blood pressure issues; it's the stress I live in right now, and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. So I've got to come up with ways to de-stress that's easy for me to do. So it's something I'm going to be working on.
Am I going to stop trying to lose weight- NO! But I am going to stop living and breathing diet. I'm going to stop making my size my whole life; worrying about what I'm going to eat or not eat, what movement I'm going to be able to get in each day. All that just adds to the stress level and I can do without it.
From here on out, I'm going to just do the best I can each day to eat in a manner that works best for me, and make the best of each day as it comes. I'm not going to make any long term plans. Just focus on each day and make it as good as I can, and work to bring more joy into my life. When I think about the last 40 plus years, It makes me sad that I allowed myself to put myself thru all that hell just to be under a certain number on a scale. And my health has surely suffered from it. NEVER AGAIN !
Live your life to the fullest, regardless of what size you happen to be. Don't regret years of your life where you tried to be someone or some size you were never meant to be. I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have lived a much happier life.

Jan. 3-2020 Update:
I started 2020 weighing 3.2 lbs. more than I did on Jan. 1-2019, but this doesn't upset me. I know on New Year's Day I had a little more sodium than I should have so when I weighed the next morning, of course the numbers were up. Considering what all went on in 2019, I feel I managed great and I look forward to seeing what progress I can make in this new year. Anything is possible.

Nov.1-2019 Update:
On the 1st I weighed and was down to 223 lbs. That means in a little over 2 years I'm down 51 lbs. If I can manage another 25 lbs. I'll be extremely happy.

Oct. 15-2019 Update:
Still working to improve my eating habits. Have a long way to go yet since I'm still eating way too much sodium.
I did weigh at the store the other day. They have a huge scale there for people that want to weigh but don't own a scale. So once a month I'll bite the bullet and weigh and see what progress I've made numbers wise. I am down a total of 40 lbs. but it's taken me over 2 years to manage it. I'd love to drop another 35 lbs. at the very least. I just hope it won't take me another 2 years to lose it.

June 10-2019 Update:
As of today, the scale is no longer a big part of my life. Got rid of it once and for all. If I'm going to trust myself to treat myself well, then it means believing I can do it without having a scale to prove or disprove it, I don't want to spend whatever time I have left on earth letting a scale determine if I'm going to have a good day or not.
There may be days when I eat more than I should, but too, there will be days when I eat very little, so over all, it'll balance itself out. The big thing for me is feeling good about myself, regardless of my size; knowing I'm making improvements where ever possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For so many years I've let my life revolve around my weight loss efforts, and when the weight was where I wanted it, I was on top of the world, as far as anyone knew. They didn't know the issues I faced on a daily basis, and the inner turmoil I had. Always afraid I'd regain the weight, showing the world what a screw-up I was. Then it happened. The weight came back with a vengeance and added even more than it had ever been before. So I said I'd do whatever it took to get it back down once again, only this time my body said "hell no you won't", and the harder I pushed, the bigger I got. So I've had to relax and work to let go of the constant diet thinking. And honestly, I'm not there yet, but it is something I'm working on. My life for the last 40 years has been about my weight and how I wanted to be seen by others. It had nothing to do with health. That's what I want to focus on NOW. Better health and renewed energy I haven't had in a long time. Making small consistant changes for the better, and just doing my best over time to get more movement into my day, and enjoy my life more, no matter what size I happen to be.


Member Since: 12/8/2018

Fitness Minutes: 24,211

My Goals:
Take things one day at a time and not make long term goals I may never meet.
To be more accepting of things I can't change.
To have less stress in my life.
To get to a point where I no longer need blood pressure pills.
To be more active whenever I can.
Trust myself more to eat right.


My Program:
No real program. Just trying to eat healthier and have less junk food or high sodium food as they tend to really bloat me plus they raise my blood pressure. Drinking mainly water thru-out the day. Trying to live a healthier life in the best way I can..




Personal Information:
I'm a 63 year old woman, married 23 years to Bob, 76. We live in Florida. I have a grown son, Chris, 44, that I adore.


Other Information:
Written by my son, Chris Nelms

The first thing you have to do is accept who you are, and love yourself for that.
You can never make any change in your life if your happiness depends on that
change, because the fear of failure will always stand in the way. When you sit there
and tell yourself that " I have to do this to be happy", then you will ALWAYS sabotage
yourself for fear of finding out that "No, it turns out that WASN'T what I needed".
So love the person that you are, and accept your flaws as just being a part of your
life, and allow yourself to make the changes you want to for your health instead
of for your happiness. Then, and only then, you'll be successful, because even if
you don't reach your goal, you'll still be happy with who you are, and so there's no
way you can fail.




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Comments
  • v BARBIEE52
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    My wings are broken, my halo's bent, and my horns are showing.

    emoticon I guess it's going to be one of 'those' days. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    14 hours ago
  • v HAPPY-CATHE
    "It's Impossible" said pride
    "It's risky" said experience
    "It' pointless" said reason
    "Give it a try whispered the heart"


    emoticon Happy New Week! Just a reminder to never give up no matter what you want or are working for. Everything in Life is worth a try. Good week to you! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    23 hours ago
  • v FOUNDER3
    Of course, thanks for the Goodie!
    2 days ago
  • v 1CRAZYDOG
    ♥ -:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥-*
    (Forgiveness) isn’t something that can happen overnight; it starts w/small steps and can take a lot of time and effort to release these destructive emotions. Elizabeth Upton
    ♥ -:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥-*

    2 days ago
  • v 1CRAZYDOG
    ♥ -:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥-*
    An important step on the path to forgiveness is looking within to pardon yourself before you can release someone else of blame and move forward positively. Elizabeth Upton
    ♥ -:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*´¨ )♥~*-: -*♥-*

    2 days ago
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