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Introduction Text I am 30 years old and have struggled with my weight my entire life. I am working on figuring this whole thing out with the goal to get in the 100s and live my life healthily and happily. I want to gain the tools and skills to resolve the shame that is holding me back from living my best and fullest version of myself. I want to feel a genuine freedom to express myself, to prioritize my own wellness, and to take the risks that life demands. The lowest I have achieved was 220 and that was in 2010 and then again in 2011. Since then, I have gone through some big life transitions, losses, and gains. Currently I am working as an outpatient therapist specialized in dual diagnosis (addictions and mental health) and I am a full time student working on my 2nd and 3rd masters degrees in social work and public health. I can't go on in my career preaching integrated healthcare and trying to help people live longer and fight chronic illness if I am over here in the 300s, pre diabetic and with no energy whatsoever. I welcome any support, camaraderie, and encouragement along the way. This community helped me get down to 220 before and I know in my heart I can see this through to my ultimate goal of becoming height-weight-proportionate and in the 100s and able to shop at regular stores for clothes and fit into plane seats and feel ALIVE everyday but it will be a lifelong process and a willingness I need to cultivate to commit.

Develop a routine that is sustainable and rewarding to my mental physical and spiritual wellness. Work towards becoming height-weight-proportionate. Weigh in in the 100s. Get back into running. Have some fun and surprise myself.

In the past I have dabbled with the Whole30 diet, with calorie counting, and endurance sports. I am most drawn to improving my consistency with whole foods in general and getting away from the processed, refined sugars, breads, and preservatives. I am a big salty/savory person and need to break the cycle.

"I run because it's therapeutic for me. Because every time I run outside, around my home, I am reminded of the beauty of the world, of which I often forget. Yet at the same time, I am fully aware of beauty -- it simply saddens me because of reasons I have not yet conjured up. I suppose I am sad. But at the same time I am happy; and miserable; and joyful; and stressed out; and calm, and everything in between. I am everything. Every emotion, rigged in every format, and developed through every machine. I am numb but I am not."



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