Having a hard day

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My schedule is the same as my dear husband's, mostly. I get up between noon and 1pm, and then it takes me about an hour to wake up and get motivated. Then come the chores and then my time here. Which since I started SP has been til I go to bed around 6 or 7am. Since the boil incident, and spending special time with Twinki I haven't been able to keep up with everything. I can either thanks everyone for all the support, comments and goodies (which has been so wonderful and so deeply appreciated) visit two or three of my 9 groups and interact on the boards....or I can do my nutrition, my exercises, my food and water, and accrueing points. I can't do all of it. Which of course having been raised a perfectionist, I want to do. How can sparkmail, email, return courtesies and interaction take so long???? Plus I have friends outside of my Heelllllllllp! Can anyone tell me their secret of success....I am in dire need of BALANCE. LOL. It's just after one now. I'm on my first cup of Java. Then I have to plan my meals for the day and make time to prepare them. Spend special time with Twinki and my other two furpurrs and try to go to at least three of my favorite groups and find time to answer sparkmail, email and comments....whew! I still can't go to my spa, and that takes about 3 hours, the boil is trying to come back, and silly me, it was doing so well yesterday I didn't call to make a doctor's appointment. I'm charging up my cell phone now, so I'll try to do that before they close today. Twinki's behavior has changed a lot. She used to get playful in short bursts at times with Pounce and Tigra, but she won't let them near her now, and growls dangerously when they get too close. Ironically, this makes them tend to bully her by following her, harrassing her by edging to close when she eats, or tries to drink. Big SIGH. She is stilly crying and very needy of me. I can't tell if it's pain, or a reaction from the medicine. For the first time since I've had her she is jumping in the tub and sink and looking for she hasn't been drinking from the water bowl and I think it's because Pounce and Tigra dog her. So I'm distracted a great deal by all that as well. I am looking at her, laying and looking out the window, and I see no happiness in her eyes. She is so happy when I'm stroking and loving on her, her purrs resonate right into the heart of me, and I can never do it long enough for her. Over the weekend she laid on my chest for 4 hours while Andrew and I watched movies and never wanted me to stop caressing her, but would sleep in between kitty massages. I'm at my wits end as I think perhaps I've found the solution to her cries, then segueing back to thinking I should have her put to sleep. How do we know? I don't want to make the wrong decision! I've never been in this situation before where I have to decide what's best for my precious friend and make sure, it's the right thing to do. I hate to think of her suffering anymore than she already has, but if I'm to properly evaluate her true condition I need more than a couple of days. The thing that tears me up mostly is that she can't talk to me and tell me what to do.

Back to me and SP. I know that I will get organized eventually, and that I do have a lot going on in my life that tend to muddle things up, so I'm not beating myself up about it. I praise God and all the friends I've made here that are always there to help out in a pinch. I think it will be at least a week before I can fully concentrate on making a workable schedule to try to fit everything in, because once I start going back to the spa I'll have even less time to be on the site. Tonight I have to go to bed early, about midnight, because tomorrow is a busy, busy day. We have to go to our local Social Security office and take in the letter that says we need to pay back $18,000.00 in 30 days...ah, yeah. I don't see that happening. I have to call my lawyer and leave a message today too, and then groceries and other stuff we need to do before sundown in preparation for the Sabbath. So I don't even know if I'll find time to be on again after today until Sunday. And just think...just a few short weeks ago I was complaining about not having a careful what you wish Well my friends, that's what's going on in my life...Til next time I wish you love, health, peace and joy!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Pami do as much as you can and not as much as you want to do. I use this for myself. What I can do is normally 1/5 of what I want to do. Doing too much is one of my stress triggers. Will be thinking of you.
    4571 days ago
    I'm really focused on SP right now. I am away from home at work and commuting for almost 11 hours a day, and I spend a couple hours in the evening catching up on blogs and articles and SP things. I also eat dinner and either do strength training or do an exercise DVD for at least half an hour (this doesn't happen every day, but I do go for a 25 minute walk at work every day), and then I get everything ready for the next day. As I've been getting more into a routine and used to working out and eating right and all that, I'm trying to cut back my time on SP during the week and do other things for myself. Hang in there, and make sure you do only as much as you want or need.
    4572 days ago
    Hi! I didn't mean to sound so stressed, but I do thank you all for the great advice...I tend to pour all my eggs in one basket when I'm really pumped up about something. I really just wanted everyone to know what was going on with me too and why I may not always be seen. Kind of brought up that way you know. Manners are everything. LOL. Hugs!!
    4572 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/13/2008 8:41:45 PM
    i agree with ZENKITTY... i would not stress out about SP.... you need to focus on your health first...jen
    4572 days ago
  • DRAKE83
    I can barely keep up with one team and a few extra friends outside the group. SP can't be my main focus each day. It's a part of my journey and not my destination of my journey.

    Keep care of you, post, email when you can and go to the groups/people that you need in the moment. This is your time to get what you need....not being everything to everyone. We love ya and need you to be healthy.

    Hugs...loves....and more hugs
    4572 days ago
    (((you ))) Some days I just read the posts that I'm actively following and either leave the rest for a different day or delete them. You can't do it all and no one expects you to comment on everything they say. I usually pick up all the Cat Lovers posts but only read the general boards on days when I have more time.

    I don't stress out when I can't update my trackers. This is supposed to be fun and easy, not another source of stress! Don't sweat the small stuff and concentrate your energy on the important things...your family and yourself. I get things caught up eventually. There are huge gaps in my trackers but I don't care and neither does anyone else. No one is going to email you about it. You know if you're doing well in your journey and we trust you!

    Take a breath. Let it out. Don't worry about whether or not you are paying attention to all your Spark friends. We know you have a life! We have em too.

    Pounce and Tigra are just trying to figure out what's wrong with Twink. I've been through this with all mine at one time or another. If one cat smells funny, the others want to know why! Boog smelled funny to them when he was on the meds too and he was cranky. Give it some time.

    Take care of that boil! Your schedule sounds too hectic to allow time for

    Above all, just breathe. Don't worry about emails and comments. We understand!

    ((((((( you and yours ))))))) from me and mine :D
    4572 days ago
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