the better person inside
Monday, April 07, 2008
ok so i am trying to be a better person with this whole relationship falling apart and crumbling. i have not stopped him from seeing his child and have not recieved a damn dime since. he has not filed for divorce but not living here either. but his intentions are very clear he wants to be with her.
I am only getting myself worked up as i desperately need help financially and i cant get it as he has not been out of my home for more than 30 days leaving me to worry about makeing mortgage payment or buying food.... as i can not get food stamps as he has not been gone for 30 days... it really kills me inside that some men can do this. i am not sure how i will do it but i will... i will make sure we wont lose our home and i will make sure my child is fed.... my only problem is i feel so much anger today about him doing this... about him leaving and leaving nothing for his own daughter and then decides that he wants joint custody.... it blows my mind.. i am trying like hell to be civil , i am trying to let go of the lie of a marriage but every time i turn around its him thats preventing me from getting the much needed help that my daughter needs, and some how i am going to be the bad guy in this as always. Please if you read this say a prayer for me ... start a prayer chain something anything to help me find a job something that can provide for myself and my daughter and please pray that my dearest astranged husband understands he is damaging what little relationship he has with his daughter and what friendship we could have had.