Friday, May 02, 2008
Woohoo I just began stage 4...I can't believe it has been 18 weeks...I feel really good. The funny thing is I have not reached my goal but boy do I feel great! I cut my hair really short because it was getting in the way of my exercise routine. My hair could not tolerate the sweat, the curling iron, the washing etc. I feel free! My husband was mad but he'll get over it. I love myself. I don't know when it happened but the articles and the exercise, and eating good food choices most of the time took away a lot of self pity and self-loathing....hence the name change I feel Jazzy, alive, vibrant, aware, happy, joyous, free. I feel relief!The best thing is...The marriage is not doing well, hubby still does not have a job...nothing has changed and I am not depressed. God is moving my mountains of disappointment, disillusionment, depression, disease(I have rheumatoid arthritis) through AA, I am learning to let go and let God! I am learning to stay out of my head...because my mind wants to say ugly, negative things to me) I am learning to be me...without trying to be a people pleaser! I no longer need the approval of others....I approve of myself and that is a priceless gift! I thank God for Sparkpeople and all of the friends I have made here! It has actually allowed me to make friends in person...besides the computer! Thank-you Sparkies!!!