PAMIJANE

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Memories of My Mother

Friday, May 09, 2008




This time of year is hard for me...I lost my mother to cancer in 1996 and I was unable to have children of my own...

I think of all the wonderful times Mama and I had and all the things that she did for me. She had me late in life, was 43 the day I popped out at 10.6 ounces from her petite 5'2 body.

Relationships here on Earth aren't perfect ever, and we had a difficult one at the best of time, but we also had the richest kind of love for each other and man, she was awesome! There was NOTHING that Mary Jane couldn't do when she put her mind to it. The woman was a powerhouse of talent, skill, endurance, and intensely private, even with me. She rarely spoke of her past or of my family which was long passed away when I came along, but she made up for it in how she loved me.

Even when she got colon and breast cancer at the same time she was a fighter. She fought for 8 years and constantly amazed the oncologist caring for her.

I miss her. I miss her every single day, but I miss her most of all on Mother's Day and her birthday when we would spend very special time together. In honor of her memory, of her tenacity and her awesome will power, and the love she spent her life giving to me alone in spite of all adversity, I set a goal this weekend to lose and dedicate to her, the loss of 50 pounds by the end of this year. That would have made her so happy. It would have made her proud. But not as proud as I was to have her for a mother. I was with her up to the end, and never in our lives did a day pass we didn't tell each other we loved each other.

Dearest Mother

You gave me life
Life rich in love
Love full of miracles
Miracles that you made
Made and gave to me daily
Daily with a Mother's strength
Strength you passed on
On to me, along with wisdom
Wisdom to continue your legacy
Legacy of love, sacrifice and pride
Pride in traditional values
Values that keep me strong
Strong enough to achieve
Achieve all you wanted in my life, alive
Alive, as you are still, in my heart
Heart of love, shaped by you
You, who gave me life
Life, full of God's sweet miracles.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BETHEBUTTERFLY
    What a wonderful relationship you have with your mother!!!! Even though she can't be with you anymore she still is, that must be a wonderful feeling.
    4497 days ago
  • PURPLEMAMAZ
    This is a beautiful poem. Thank you so much for sharing it. You were truly blessed to have had 8 years to say goodbye to your mother, although I know how difficult it is to care for your mother when she's suffering with cancer. I sometimes wish my mother had lived longer with her multiple myeloma, but her cancer was so aggressive that she was a source of wonder for the hospital staff when she managed to hang on for 16 months after her diagnosis. I wouldn't have wanted her to suffer any longer, but for selfish reasons, I wish she was still here.

    Despite any difficulties in your relationship with your mother, she obviously did an exceptional job in raising you. Just as she was able to show her tremendous love for you, you have a unique ability to share that love with others, and I, for one, truly appreciate that.


    4517 days ago
  • NANADA1947
    pami, i told you when we first met that i felt very closely drawn to you. i have read quite a few of your poems/writings, but none have been as beautiful as this. i lost my mom in 1969, she was 49 and healthy. my father adored her. they had another child late in life. my sister, lillie, was 8 when she found momma dead in bed. i was 21 at the time, with 2 small children aged 3 and 1. i miss my mom everyday even after all these years. so, pami, you see i really do understand. i thank you for wtiting this tribute to your mother, i'm sitting here typing thruogh beautiful tears of remembering my mom....xoxo...theresa.
    4517 days ago
  • PRINCESSTTM
    ouch for the heartache of your momma.... you are a major example of what a wonderful woman she was... blessings... terri
    4520 days ago
  • JANEYWEBBY
    Hi Pami
    Thank you for your support......
    Janey emoticon
    4521 days ago
  • NEWCREATION517
    You are such a blessing, Pami emoticon Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece of your heart and life with us!! Love ~ Kristin
    4521 days ago
  • DEBULACLARK
    What a beautiful tribute Pami. I'm crying again. Try not to get too down this weekend. Enjoy the memories. She sounds like she was amazing. emoticon
    4521 days ago
  • WEEPINGWILLOW2
    Pami ... you made me cry with your beautiful tribute to a wonderful lady! emoticon
    4521 days ago
  • STARTSPARKING
    I lost my father almost 20 years ago, and I still miss him dearly. Thank you for sharing such a loving tribute to your mother.
    4521 days ago
  • 46A39P
    So Lovely Pami!!!

    What a lovely dedication. Mothers are wonderful, amazing people! Love and Hugs,
    Jean
    4521 days ago
  • JANEYWEBBY
    Oh Pami that is so nice and no daubt she is proud of you and the person you have become.

    It is hard to lose your mother. My mom died in January 1993, she too was my rock and even today all these years on there are times I still pick up the phone to ring her and the loss I feel at that moment is as intense as it has ever been.

    I lost a daughter at birth and to be honest I donot know which I grieve for most whether it is my mom or my baby.

    I am always telling my hubby he should cherish his mon but it is in only in the loss of your mother that you realise jsut how important she is.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Mothers day here is in March.
    4521 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/10/2008 6:04:45 PM
  • TRACYZABELLE
    ((((((((((Pami))))))))))) How awesome!
    4522 days ago
  • LENGELKE
    Simply beautiful!
    4522 days ago
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