Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I can finally feel the clouds moving away. Although I don't feel well physically yet, something has changed. I seem to be attracting what I need to get happy and healthy, and maybe it is because I have changed my attitude. The deep depression from the breakup is there still, but I can see my way out. Now I just have more anxiety about it, since he has come after me before when he was drinking. I keep my gun loaded at night and am a light sleeper. Okay, so I toss and turn all night long. I know I have taken all the precautions I can, and yet I'm still afraid. And part of me still loves him. But I am moving on, and literally . . . MOVING! My body, that is. It feels great! Even though I have not met my caloric expectations - how many I eat or how many I burn - even one time, I feel like getting out there and moving has awakened me to all sorts of new possibilities in life. I live near a university, and it's noisy, but it's also filled with artists and students and free spirits like me. When I get out there and walk, I start to see these things. I'm happy being alone now, if scared. But I'm not lonely. SparkPeople has helped so much. I am surprised at how many positive people there are on this board who have done great things and made amazing changes, who are willing to extend a hand and offer inspiration to those of us struggling. Thanks, guys!!!!!