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weigh in Wednesday

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I was a bit sad this morning as the scale did not move.
I was a lot frustrated that I have not been getting my Spark mail.
I went out today so I would not be tempted to console myself with food. I went to visit an old work buddy who I had not seen in a long time. It was so sweet to hear him tell me I looked beautiful. I needed a good boost to my ego. I have to admit I enjoy the praise. I get embarrassed easy when people say things but then feel disappointed when they don't. Go figure that one out.

I then went to my office to start on that project again and found my old journeys, it was really a blast from the past. It was interesting to see how I felt from the start of my journey. I have come a long way.
When it figured it out from my highest weight till today I have lost 167.6 pound.... emoticon That seems so impossible, but I have the pictures to prove it..... emoticon. I also took out my old jeans from 3 years ago that were tight and a shirt that I could not button. I can fit in half of them....
This is a strange journey I'm on. My minds eye doesn't see it or feel it. I still have to remind myself almost every time I leave my home that I'm not that nearly 350 pound women. I wonder when it will happen, or will it happen? Will I have to be reassured and praised for the rest of my life that I have lost weight? How do we retrain our brain to accept our new self?
How do we get over feeling self conscious about our bodies?
I wonder when will people get tired of telling me how good I look. maybe they already are?
Poor Gary has to hear everyday about my progress or lack of progress, he might be ready to choke I give him the blow by blow of sparkpeople everyday......I need to get more activities in my life.

As always thank you my dear friends and family for your support, encouragement and love. I could never do it with out all of you.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Kitt, I am so glad you are here. It is sometimes tough getting used to a new body - it does take time to remove the "fat" between the ears. You have done and are doing a phenomenal job and I will be happy to repeat that daily!
    4051 days ago
    Kitt ~ that's pretty darn amazing, huh!!! and i bet that when you started it felt totally impossible!

    one time i got to 199 and told the doc i was feeling anxious/scared about my new wait. he kind of passed it off like it was a silly concern, patted my arm and said 'you'll be fine'

    well, i didn't stay that low long enough to adjust to the new me, but i think it takes awhile for our image to adjust in our mind's eye.

    i wonder if it will be similar to adjusting as we age. i remember being really upset a few years b4 30 and after... like age 26 - 34 ~ lol ~ and then 40 was kind of an odd thing, and now i'm pushing 50, i swear i'm looking at my mumsie's hands...

    in my minds eye, i feel 22 - 26 or so, young, vibrant, able to do anything! even though i was struggling with weight those years... i wasn't limited by it yet... could still get up/down easily etc...

    i see a change in the way people treat me... i'm older & heavier... is it my weight or both... but i suspect things will change as i lose... i am looking forward to not being invisible again but i'm not looking forward to unsolicited attention. of course that may not be as much of a problem, now that i'm older.

    :::sigh::: keep poking around with your thoughts, methinks it is how u will reconcile your deep down inside with reality :)

    4051 days ago

    you are doing great, don't ever forget that. You have managed to consistently lose weight, while many of us plateau for weeks or months.


    4051 days ago
    You are doing such a wonderful job so don't get too discouraged, just remember all that you have accomplished and take pride in that.

    I lost 80 lbs about 15 years ago and like you, loved hearing others tell me how good I looked but I can say in all honesty that most of the time, I didn't think about whether someone did or didn't say something about my weight loss until I saw someone who hadn't seen me in a while and they would make a comment. To me, it just felt so good to be able to put on my nice clothes and go to work feeling good about myself since I didn't have to lug all that extra weight around all the time.

    So keep your chin up and keep those old clothes handy to remind you of all that you have accomplished. After my husband's surgery in Nov, I hope to have my knee replacement early next year and maybe then I will be able to concentrate more on what I need to do to get rid of this "other person" I am carrying around right now. You are quite an inspiration sweet lady :)

    God bless you and Gary
    4052 days ago
    I finally got the scale to move ~ but I certainly wouldn't recommend getting a bronchial cold to do it!! This huge drop in pounds has given my new energy to keep off that big drop in weight ~ the ease I had in moving today, really made me smile.

    Am looking forward to getting comments like you receive!! Sounds like you need to surround yourself with people you haven't seen for awhile & smile from all those comments! Certainly does change a gloomy day to a bright and cheerful one!!

    I have the opposite problem ~ in my mind, I never got fat! Then one day I looked in the mirrow & wondered who was that fat slob staring back at me? The real clincher was seeing a picture of me, seated from behind! OMG ~ what a reality check!

    So, I'm looking forward to seeing the image in my mirror reflect what my mind thinks I look like!!!

    4052 days ago
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