Coming unglued and at all places!!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I got up this morning felt better than the last few mornings. Got somewhat of a decent nights sleep. I had a hard time yesterday because i needed to see my littlest nephew and niece and I didn't get the chance to..I felt crushed inside, I needed to hug and love on them. But I finally was able to get those feelings pushed to the side.
This morning I decided to head up to the Hallmark store to get Hailey something. Not only did I lose my sister in law, but I am also getting ready to lose my 14 yr old niece. Her father and mother (Brenda) were never married but my brother has been part of Hailey's life since she was about 5-6 yrs old....that's more to say about Hailey's sperm donor.
Her father started a custody battle this summer with Brenda. Here's Brenda dieing of cancer and he took her to court to gain full custody, claiming that Brenda was unable to care for his daughter. Never mind Andy, her step-dad, is there taking care of Brenda and 4 kids and then the family was always there helping and doing what we could. Hailey's father is lower and more slimly than a snake, no word(s) can describe this man. Her father found out about Brenda's passing---how we are not sure.
The lawyers suggested we keep it quiet as long as possible but somehow, someway he found out the very next day. He called Brenda's lawyer yesterday to tell them that he is giving the family until Sunday and then he is coming to get Hailey. Hailey is just devasted, she doesn't want to go she wants to stay in her home with her brothers and sister.
But anways, I was at the Hallmark store earlier looking for a figurine for Hailey. I found a Precious Moment figure for her and while I was waiting for the man to come back with the box I found one of the wood angels that was more fitting. I just lost it right there in the store. The flood gates opened up and I think the man in the store thought I totally lost it. I pulled it together as best as I could and told him I was sorry that my sister in law just passed and I was buying something for her children and the wood angel hit it home pretty hard. It's a guardian angel holding and hugging a small child. The tag with it says something like always holding what is dear to you --something like that. I just couldn't keep it in.
I stopped at my brothers to let Hailey pick which one she would like and to my surprise, she went to school this morning. Andy said its the last time she is going to be with her friends (her dad doesn't live in this area) so basically she went to school to say good bye to her friends and teachers.
While there at the house my little nephew runs into kitchen and comes back to show me the flowers he got for his momma he told me that he is going to give them to her later today. I started to tear up again and he's like oh no are you going to cry to??? the way he shook his head it was cute.