The week is finally over
Saturday, October 18, 2008
It has been one long and one hell of a week that is for sure!! I have cried more than I ever thought was humanly possible and I have laughed until it made me cry even more.
Brenda's funeral was just beautiful she had over 250 people. Many people got up and spoke about her and others had the pastor read letters. My husband wrote a beautiful piece for her it made us all cry but as he said he knew she would want it to end on a funnier note so he added in one of our funny stories about her.
I have my little nephew and little niece for the night. On our way home tonight Dominic asked my son what he was thinking about and John said nothing, John asked him what are you thinking about? and Dominic sighs and tells John ohhh I'm thinking about my momma. We get to the video store to get Dominic a game and he was talking about his momma and saying that he loves her and he wonders if she misses him all I could do is tell him I know his momma loves him and misses him so much and just hug him just a little tighter. It just sucks.
To look at Allison is like looking at Brenda when she was a baby. There are pictures of Brenda that several people thought were Allison.
Life for us goes on, doesn't seem fair and leaves me wondering why. Everyone that read something about her all said the same thing...she never judged anyone and was so giving. It makes me question so much. Why would he take someone so young and so full of life that never hurt anyone. I know there is a reason, I do know that but to be with her children and have to hear my 4 yr old nephew say that he loves his momma and say that he misses her...could my heart just be pulled out of my chest and ripped apart anymore???? To be with her the day they said the cancer has won and to hold her hand and have her sob that she isn't ready to die and having to tell her that her babies will be okay, they will be loved, that we all will be okay where's the reason in that? UUUGHHHHH
life goes on and I have to as well.