DRAMA: I am not unique in believing that my life is a drama. I am a total drama queen. While I may be dramatic, my life has actually been very, very good. I have been and am now loved. I have a great tendency to run like a roadrunner and then bump into the cliff like a coyote. I have tried to live the life of a very very good girl/person. I have succeeded on so many levels. Yet in many arenas, I have not been authentic .. so now I begin to
DARE: I have let go of personal perfectionist expectations. I am not an obsessive compulsive perfectionist. Far from it. The house is a mess. My diet and fitness plans are only plans-not actual. My perfectionism is mostly in my head. I plan to do this and do that. I grieve for what I have not accomplished. So by accepting that I ultimately am responsible for my life, I have stopped "chopping rocks" (the job). For the first time in ??? years, I have no job to provide me structure that I really need for management of me; not to mention $$$$. I am going to totally focus on me and my life in the most internal way possible. By releasing my grip on perfectionism, I begin to
DREAM: I have time now to truly explore ME. I have no agenda for the moment. I have only time and breath to develop my inner strength. I have no distractions such as chopping rocks or very little royal rugrats or any other obligations. And the most perfect thing about it all, it the tremendous sense of peace that I am feeling. So after so many attempts to be perfect by DOING, I have found perfection in simply being.
My journey to a healthier me is very much from the inside out.
OUCH: I have lost only about 20 pounds in a year. My clothes feel a little better but I am far from the 'weight-appropriate' person that I was before I crushed my foot snow-skiing 4 years ago.
OUCH: Exercise routine has not been established. It is easy to say my chronic foot pain greatly interferes and it does; yet I have been 'released' to resume my cycling on my mountain bike. I have not started cycling as I fear the risk; however, it is a challenge that I have mostly ignored.
OUCH: While I don't overeat, I haven't a clue of my food log.
I drink water. Love the water.
LOVE: I am loving me in ways I never knew possible. I am truly worthy of being here and I need not feel like a fake me any longer. YEP, I have felt I was a fake me for ??? years.
LOVE: I love my close family, friends and even SparkFriends in the most authentic way. I recognize that LOVE has no limits and truly connects all of our lives together. Hence I must be active in LOVING so that I am not a broken link.
LOVE: I am able to have a true attitude of LOVE and LOVING. I love learning about love. I am able to be at this place because somehow, somewhere, somewhen I stumbled upon SPARKPEOPLE and its structure for living. I have connected with me, with others and with LOVE.
It is the best of DREAMS... I have met a major goal. I have met me.