unlearning, unsure, understanding
Friday, January 02, 2009
My journey to health via SparkPeople has been keen on my inner world. Weight has been an issue but the healing of my inner self has been predominating. This was a surprise to me.
I expected to work on exercise and food yet I found that SparkPeople has been critical to my inner healing. WOW I am so thankful.
UNLEARNING: I have been focusing on unlearning some mindsets, paradigms (really like that word), and habits.... Ya'll all know about that. In order to unlearn, I have had to identify what behavior s needed to be unlearned. Major OUCH.
UNSURE: Honestly, I am so unsure about quality of my past path. It is a part of my OCD to ruminate upon what I have or haven't done in the past. Did I do well? Did I harm? Did I enrich or did I tear down? AND what about the future: will I be the spouse, daughter, momma, the therapist, the sister that is needed? Will I think before acting and speaking?
UNDERSTANDING: Slowly I understand that I must leave the examination of my past actions so that I may focus on the present and the future only one day at a time. I must stop my addiction to thinking, to actions, to passiveness; as these behaviors prevents me from actualizing ME. I understand that what I fear most of all is being ME. Fear has interfered with the development of ME. So I begin to work towards being ME by loving myself enough to be:
A healthy ME, a happy ME, an honorable ME.
Love is the opposite of Fear.
blessings to all