I want an accountability partner.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I realized today that it is hard for me to ask for help. I figure it has something to do with growing up as an older sibling in a large family. Everyone(including mom) looked to me for strength, but I had no one. So, I learned to not look outside myself for anything. Not a good thing. I have weaknesses like everybody else. I can get thoughts or feelings all twisted up, or get overwhelmed over something minor because I haven't looked outside myself for perspective. I have been trying to be more communicative with those around me, but I still find myself forgetting. I was thinking this morning that it would be easier to keep up on my exercising if I had someone who I was accountable to and wishing someone would ask me. I came up against my reluctance to look outside myself again. How is anyone going to know that I would like an accountability partner if I never say anything? Am I afraid to show weakness? Asking for help is a learning experience. An opportunity to grow into the person I would like to become. Someone who can give as well as receive. I have a long way to go before I get to where I want to be, but I am getting there.