BETTY5BOS
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Life changes in a flash!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Thanksgiving 2008 was really good. My husband's brother and his wife came and it was really nice to see them together. Dinner went well. They played ping pong which I had in the garage but had not been set up in years. The week before I cleaned the garage so that there was room to play again. Everyone had a good time. Our daughter came in from Indiana as well as my son from Orlando. Who could know our world would change forever the following week. My husband's brother and wife left on Friday, my son on Saturday, my daughter on Friday night. The following Tuesday Dec2 my husband Matthew came home from work not feeling particularly well but couldn't define what was wrong. We went to bed and slept til 10 am. He got up asked me to go out to breakfast, but when I reminded him he hadn't felt well the night before, we decided not to go. He took a shower, asked me to stay in our room with him.( not a usual request) Then said, "You know, If I survive this..." I cut him off with "Survive what? Oh, you"ll start taking care of yourself and get healthy?" Still he didn't feel good. Didn't want to go to the hospital said it wasn't that bad... Laid on the bed a little while seemed more comfortable, then all of a sudden, he stood up and said, "My heart is beating funny, OH Betty". Those were his last words. I called his brother on the way to the hospital in order to warn him, so he wouldn't just get the call that his brother was gone, but in my heart, I knew he was gone when I was still doing CPR myself. I have the relief of knowing I did everything I could for him, of knowing, I told him I loved him one last time while he could still hear me, of knowing, my name was the last thing he thought of to say. I loved my husband. He was a strange man, he had trouble letting people get close to him. He always wanted to keep them guessing. He was a mailman who always said he didn't like his job. After he died, I got so many letters and cards from his patrons telling me how much they cared for him and how many had become his friends. I have been up to see his brother in Jacksonville 3 times since he died. I feel closer to my husband when I am near him. He likes to see my son as well. Maybe in a way we are both getting from each other the feeling of closeness to him. None of us could have predicted as they all left after Thanksgiving that we would be meeting again the next week to attend a funeral for one so loved and connected to us.
One of the commitments to myself after this, is that I will take care of myself, eat healthy, keep sugars in line and exercise so as to be a good roll model to our children.
I am back to Sparks and hopefully will not have anymore breaks of not coming here. Until next time....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KITEFLYINGAL
    this is just heartbreaking to read.. I am so sorry for your loss and will be praying for you ...
    emoticon emoticon
    4144 days ago
  • REDHKIRK
    Betty, God Bless You. Thank you for sharing with us. Tons of cyber hugs going your way from your SP friends.
    4148 days ago
  • ROSES4CLC
    Betty, God Bless you.

    emoticon
    4149 days ago
  • DAP1313
    Betty,

    I am so sorry for your loss. At least you were there with him at the end and you did all that you could for him. Please take care of yourself and remember we are here for you.

    Thank you for sharing this with us.
    Denise

    emoticon
    4149 days ago
  • BRUANNE
    Betty, how brave of you to write such an eloquent "blog" about your husband. I know you miss him terribly and I see you are at peace knowing you did all that you could for him.
    You are right, now it's time to take care of you! The Team is here for you. Hugs!!
    Annette
    4150 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2445638
    Thank you for sharing that is so obviously still painful for you. This IS the place to be for support and strength and reinforcement. Let us help you. emoticon
    4150 days ago
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