Thursday, May 21, 2009
I have been holding in some emotions recently, and thought that if I type this out, I could release some of it. One of my teams on here, already know what I am going to talk about on this blog, but I needed to release some more.
About a few months ago...actually it was near the beginning of the year, I learned that my father had a tumor near his bronchial tubes. He lost a lot of feeling on his left side of his body. He could walk far, and he had to take off work. He went through chemo and radiation for a while. When I first saw him, he looked years older than he was. It had made him look like he was on his death bed. It was at the hospital when I saw him, and he seemed disoriented. I sat there with him, till he started falling asleep and they kicked me out. I would go over and see him every other week...and after a while, he looked to be improving. Then, during spring break, I took the kids to see him, and he looked strong again. He was eager to go back to work, and he was taking walks to get strength in his legs.
He had made a great turn around...I thought he was in the clear....well, Saturday, I spoke with him. He went to see the doctor Friday, and he got some bad news....the cancer had returned. They found another tumor on his lower spine. The doctors told him that he needs to go on full disability now...no more working for him. As long as I remember, this man worked hard and long. I remember waking up at 3 in the morning, so my mother could take him to work when we only had one car, and then we would get home from school, and we would have to pick him up after that. He was working 12 hour days and not skipping a beat. Now he learns that he can't work anymore....I know he says it is fine, but I know it is a blow to him. His left leg is going numb again, and he is losing some muscle control as well. I am scared for him. I know he hasn't been there for me and my sister all the time, but he is still our father. He seems very optimistic about it, but I know that he is worried inside as well.
On a side note, he has prostate cancer earlier in his life, and his father died of prostate cancer. My father had his removed, and I am wondering if the prostate cancer was not fully removed. Also, I feel that I may be next in line to get prostate cancer. Since, my grandfather and father had it, it seems as if I would get it as well. That is one reason I have been trying to be healthier and lose weight...the healthier I am the lower the risk I might have.
Thanks for listening if you read this....I had to get it off my chest. I plan on doing all I can to help him out in anyway...Dad, I love you...and I pray that the therapy works. Take care and God bless.