SERIALKNITTER

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REALLY Trying

Friday, May 29, 2009

I've been REALLY trying to stay positive, get in some kind of movement every day, and stay on my calorie plan. I swear I am. But I just can't take everything else anymore.

My son, who will be 5 next month, has decided that he doesn't want to go to kindergarten in September - so he's been pooping his pants. Or pull-ups rather. This week culminated in him getting diaper rash yesterday. Diaper rash. This is a child who hasn't had a diaper in 2 years. We SHOULD have been a happy family enjoying the kindergarten open house last night and then going to dinner, but Adam decided that he didn't want to go and messed himself SIX times yesterday. SIX. Who goes six times a day? Only maniacal little boys trying to drive fragile mothers over the edge. My husband's brilliant plan? Find him a therapist. A therapist. Do they even have therapist's for 5 year olds? I have issues with him going to kindergarten too - I should have been scheduling my c-section for the week before he went. The week of our 7th anniversary. It's hard. I don't know when it's going to stop being hard.

Everyone on the flipping planet is pregnant. And they are smug about it. I used to defend the smug preggers, it's a happy time and all, but I can't right now. I want to be that happy, but it isn't going to happen right now. I can't seem to make myself reconcile that. I can't seem to make myself believe the positive things I used to believe. I honestly and whole heartedly have always believed that you make some of your own happiness. I love my husband and my son and I want to be able to focus on and enjoy them to get through this - but my son is acting out and it makes it difficult to enjoy him right now. My heart is breaking to admit that, but it is hard to enjoy someone who seems intent on spending their waking hours finding ways to get into trouble. He's refusing to bathe, toilet correctly, clean up his mess, eat, etc...He seems to relish in being argumentative and obstinate. If one more person tells me it's a phase...

I know everyone wants their life to be like a smooth sheet, and that the wrinkles are what make a life a life, but right now I can't seem to iron. The wrinkles are too much, and too big, and I feel like an ant trying to climb the mountain. NOTHING is going the way it should. So I stress eat. And I don't get in the exercise I inteded to get in. And I forget to take care of me, because everything else is the squeaky wheel, and I am completely out of grease.
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  • KATIEBUG815
    Hey, I know that I don't really know you or much about your life. I'm not going to tell you that your son is going through a phase or anything like that. I am going to tell you that I have been raising my grandson(with my husband too) because his mother was abusive. He has done many of the things I think you are facing. Your husband may not be so far off base with the therapist idea. My grandson has been seeing one ever since he came to live with us. He has what is known as emotional detachment disorder. Yeah, imagine that? Anyway, she has helped the whole family to adjust to life together. Before he came to live with us, I thought shrinks were a huge waste of time. But he was so angry all the time, we really needed help. I am so glad that we did this. He has come so far. She has helped all of us deal with the emotional chaos we faced. If you can afford to try it, you may be surprised. I think you might just consider it. We got lucky and found the right person to help us deal with all our Tyler's problems. He's becoming so much more like the kind of kid we can deal with at least. Your son may really benefit from therapy. And more importantly, YOU may benefit from it as well. If nothing else your therapist may be able to help you cope with all the difficulties You are having as well as your son. I'm not trying to lecture, but from a former skeptic, I am actually saying you never know, It may be just what you need.

    What can it hurt? At any rate I wish you good luck. I will keep you in my prayers.
    3869 days ago
  • PAX234
    Jennifer, I'll paraphrase a comment I once read - by the time Adam gets to college the whole poop in the pants things will be over (and if it isn't he'll have to deal with the laundry)! - Easier to read than live through, of course. No doubt he's been affected by all that you've been through in these past months and is just looking for things to not to change anymore. Stay tough when you have to and if you need to coddle and cuddle it will be okay too. You may want to try to let him plan a "mommy and me" day (big boys only of course) dessert for dinner, a trip to the park, give him some suggestions but let him feel he's driving the day. My son loves the time we get when it's just the two of us - sometimes we can plan for it and sometimes it's just dinner, either out or with him in charge!
    3883 days ago
  • SHANSHE
    Oh Jen! Although I have never gone through EXACTLY what YOU are going through, I totally understand the wrinkles being too big and not being able to iron and being tired of being told your child is going through a phase, etc... I get not being able to be happy for others and almost being angry at them for having what you want and not nearly appreciating it like they should, like YOU would.

    I don't know if a therapist is what your son needs, BUT, they DO have therapists for children, even 5 year olds' and even younger, believe it or not! I wish I had some insight on this issue for you, but I honestly don't.

    People keep telling me to take care of me as well too, but I know how hard that is when everything and everyone else is the squeaky wheel and having no grease left... Ok, so maybe this comment isn't really all that helpful, BUT maybe it helps just to know that someone cares and that what you are going through is at least normal enough that one other person has experienced similar emotions and feelings.

    Try baby steps... sometimes, even baby steps seem huge, so break it down as small as you need to, if you can...

    Hugs,
    Shannon
    3886 days ago
  • KALEBANDJONSMOM
    Girl, you have to keep your head up-remember,this to shall pass. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. Can your husband keep your son and give you "a day off?" It might be all you need. But just remember, no matter what happens-you have support here! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3886 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/29/2009 10:49:24 AM
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