CHERYLANDERICA

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Grrrr

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I am quite irritated right now. I am having a drink to try to calm myself due to the fact it is our first night around each other since the Saturday upset. We are not really speaking. He came home before we got there and he didnt call or anything. And when we got here he talked to Erica but not me. I asked why he is acting this way towards me. He said it is not me, he is just stressed and frustrated. He took a nap and so I took my aggression out on a walk. My mom gave me money to go get him some rum (his favorite) thinking it would help him relax. So I let him sleep some and then I gave him dinner and offered a drink. He said he didnt want a drink. When Erica threw her temper tantrum, that all changed. Now he is on the phone with his best friend. I am half listening. But it makes me sick how normal he is acting with Dion and how he is laughing and talking about things. Why cant he act like this with me? We have had our ups and downs btu we have always talked to each other. I am so confused. I am so frustrated. And I am so damn lonely.
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  • W8FALNOFF
    This economy business has everyone stressed...
    Hang in there kiddo..just let him know you are there when he is ready to talk, maybe try inviting him on one of your walks with you..you say you live with your parents, maybe they can watch the kids while you walk and talk things through.
    I used to live my in-laws and it seems you never really have any privacy..and that could be adding to his stress as well..
    Take it one day at time, just keep reminding him that you do love him and that you just an arms length away at any moment he is ready to reach out and let you know what is going on.
    My prayers are with you!
    Blessings and Love
    Patty
    4202 days ago
  • GODDESS1011
    Biggg Huuuugeeee Hugggg it will get better just let him chill for a couple of days. Some days when we think we aren't strong enough somewhere we pull out more strength don't know where this comes frome but it will be all right. Keep working on you and the kids let him be by himself for awhile he will come to you when he is ready trust me I have had a few of these nights with my husband.

    Hope it gets better

    emoticon

    Dawn
    4203 days ago
  • PINKYPOOS
    hey there - it sounds from just quickly reading through - that your man is just stressed and down about things like you, not that he doesn't love you or want to be with you or the kids or anything. It sounds like you both need a break, but that's probably hard to happen. Concentrate on you first, rather than things with your man, like making new friends/catching up with old friends. If you can start to feel a bit better about your days and less lonely, you will feel more positive and reflect that back into your house. Try not to over think things and stress too much - your life written down on a piece of paper has a LOT of positives in it!!!!!! Get out there every day and meet up with some people/walk to the shops/visit a park/do some exercise etc - the company of other adult conversation and being active, will raise your mood no end!!!
    Take care, Pink, xx
    4203 days ago
  • PATTYS74
    Hey Cheryl,
    Hang in there girl. This will pass I'm sure. Just remember people usually take their frustrations out on the people closest to them because down deep inside they feel that you will still love them. Give him some unwinding time then tell him you really need to talk about what is happening. I will keep you both in my prayers. I am so sorry you are so lonely. Just keep talking with all of us. I hope that will help. emoticon
    4203 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/15/2009 2:35:17 AM
  • GLORIOUSHONOR
    Hugsss to you!

    My husband died 10yrs ago from cancer when my kids were almost 2 and almost 5 so its been a long time since I have had to deal with a man. I had to deal with everything by myself mostly because, with kids that had some special needs, I was afraid my children would be too vulnerable. I was molested as a kid and it would have killed me if mine were so... I stayed single so far.

    Men and women deal with stress differently though. They just don't see things the same way either. There might be a couple of things to try to make things change.

    One is to talk with him about your feelings without making it sound like you are blaming him. In other words, by saying when X happens, I feel like THIS... instead of saying something like... When you do this, you make me feel like THIS. When someone hears the word YOU, they feel like they are being blamed for it instead of it being a situation. Plus, only you can control how you react to something. When someone says so-and-so made me sooooo mad, what they are really saying is I let myself get soooooo mad when so-and-so did xyz. Once you really accept that you are in control of your own emotions, you can learn how to control them better.

    The other thing you might try doing is try to just let go of the pain and anger. Find moments here and there, like when you go out walking, to just regroup and catch your breath. He might be reacting some to how you are acting toward him. He might not be meaning anything by how he acts and you might be reading more into his actions based on your own feelings... if that makes sense.

    If you feel you are really having some bad problems, you might try watching the movie, Fireproof, or going to the site, http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/ , to get some ideas of ways to make things better between the two of you.

    Try finding some things you can do that will keep you from being so dependent on him being there. If you have help from your parents, you might try taking a class or joining the YMCA or something to get you out of the house.

    hugssss again.
    4203 days ago
  • JENALEX1
    Aw, I'm sorry! I hope he comes around soon. Jenn there is probably right, let him come to you when he's ready. Just keep busy and then he'll realize he misses you and won't be able to get enough of your attention. :)
    4204 days ago
  • JLBART74
    Maybe something is going on at work that he doesnt want to talk about yet. Men are wierd they wont talk most of the time till something bad happens.

    I know its hard. Go about your business and wait for him to talk to you. Im not sure how long you have been married but hang in there. This will pass.

    HUGS emoticon
    4204 days ago
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