It's never enough!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
I'm so tired of feeling like I'm not trying hard enough!! But the truth is that I'm really not trying hard enough. The days when everything goes really good, I feel so proud of myself. Then, some days it's as if I just don't care. And I do. I care about myself and I want to try harder... but the umph just isn't there all the time! How do I keep pushing? The weekends seem so busy that I just don't find the time to log my eating or anything else. I've avoided the whole spark efforts every single weekend and I don't realize how much that really effects what I'm doing, until now. I've been learning so much about nutritional values on here and I see different variations of the same foods and how they vary by cooking methods. But I just straight out AVOID it! I lie to myself, thinking, "it's the weekend, I don't have to follow this crap on the weekends too" and the whole thing is ruined! So, I'm now trying even harder to tell myself to do better, to push through no matter how hard it is... that I will LOVE the results of a new ME! But it's easy to run it through in my mind, but to actually DO IT!! So, starting at this very moment I'm going to try to change my attitude and get myself on track and NOT fall off!! I think about Winter coming soon and how we will be stuck inside and how this could all just go right down the drain and I get so caught up in the "what if"... this is my wall that I run in to!! Wow! So, attitude is everything... I know exactly what I want... so, WHAT IF I actually reach this goal!! The wall just came down... I want to keep going... I want to reach that goal... and I KNOW I CAN!!!!!