I hate myself!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It's 1 am and I'm wide awake. I've got so many things on my mind and I've got to get up at 6am for work. So what's bothering me...... Weight, Work, Family, Home, Hubby, Son, etc, etc.
I'm still working out in the gym but I'm really getting tired of it. I know that it's important to be there so I go thru the motions. Maybe because it's the summer. I'm tired, work is so busy at present and I'm really tired when I come home that I just want to crash. I have not had a vacation since June and a few extra days off would be nice. I'm back on Medifast though and doing my best to get this weight off by Sept 9th my 55th birthday. I've put on 10 lbs and it's gotta come off. I'm so mad at myself. Help!
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  • MELANIE594
    Hi Terry. I'm Melanie. I just joined Medifast Aug. 4. But really do hang in there. Would a walking regime be good right now? You would be moving, and it would give you time by yourself to really reflect and think gentle thoughts. I read a magazine article once about a single mother who, just getting home from work and trying to get dinner, etc. and her kids were just really being bad. So she stopped everything and took them all for a walk. It became a daily routine they all looked forward to, and they enjoyed it so much she even bundled them up and got them out in the snow or rain, which they loved. So maybe try walking for awhile?
    4262 days ago
    I've been struggling too Terry (for months, really) - I just finished Day 2 of being back on MF and I'm committed to the next 6-7 months if that's what it takes to get to the end. I'm just taking it meal by meal, every little 3 hr chunk of time.. just trying to get through and putting one foot in front of the other. I'm here if you need me! HUGS!
    4262 days ago
    Hi Terry! I'm Amy. I have 100 pounds to lose, well only 86 now :). I've lost as much as 42 pounds before and gained it back. Talk about hating yourself. But you know what? I'm back on it now. And that wasn't easy.
    When I get discouraged, I try to triumph in the small choices that I make. Maybe I passed up the pasta on the buffet I wasn't expecting to be there when I went for the salad and soup bar, maybe I had half of an order of fajitas instead of fried cheesy covered in sauce chimichangas, maybe I had small frequent meals today, and so on..... Whatever "good choice" you make for a day, is one more than you made before you began your journey.
    Don't forget we're all here for you when you need it. I've not made your aquaintance here on spark yet, but I'm quite sure no one hates you, so why should you?
    Best of luck,
    Amy emoticon
    4263 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/12/2009 7:02:12 PM
  • JEAN524
    Just reckon on a day at a time and you will get there. emoticon Jean
    4263 days ago
    Gosh its all been said! So much support! I do hope you are feeling a bit brighter about things now.
    How about going right back to the basics, remember when you first joined SP. Plan your foods, menues, shopping, workout time avail and for how long. ME time, there are only 24 hrs in the day and 8 should be for sleep - you must be very tired.

    As you can see you are not alone and I wish you a brighter day tomorrow. Do you know the song by Tammy Wynette?
    One day at a time Sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking from you, just give me the strength, to do everyday, what I have to do....................

    Love to you x

    4263 days ago
    You know what I like about TODAY.. right now??? It's THE PRESENT! It's a GIFT! Let go of what has gone past. No need to beat yourself up over something that is over. Give yourself the PRESENT! Exercise because it's a gift to TERRY. It's getting Terry healthy and that will make Terry HAPPY. Make good food choices because that TOO will make Terry healthy and hence happy. Terry deserves to be healthy and happy because she is LOVED... by God, by many... and needs to be loved by HERSELF. To Thine Own Self Be True! -Dawn emoticon
    4263 days ago
  • BOBBI97
    Hi Terry:)
    Come on girl you cannot feel like this sparkspeople has alway's told me you have to love yourself first before others and that means alot to us all so just do it ok...

    Hating yourself aint gonna get you know where... been there done that one lol & this stress makes you gain weight so you need to get yourself out of the rut and get yourself going doing something to keep yourself motivated you can do this I know you can...You are a very lucky woman what if you had all my health problems and my weight you think you have it bad "NOT" when you can where my shoes then you can say differently but it aint no fun being the way I am Grrrr but life goes on so were all here to support you so hold your head up and say I am a beautiful person and I can do this for me one day @ a time to one step @ a time... come on say it girl you can do this...what if you had edema and your weight goes up then down my ankles are like baseballs I hate it but I cant let that get me down if I did I would never get myself though all this so remember good thoughts ok for us... and if you need a shoulder to hang on well you know where to reach out to us here on sparkspeople were the best medicine anyone could ask for...I have fallen off the wagon millons of times but do I give up never I alway's end up coming back this is my 2nd home lol... so get up come on get up and just do something that will make you happy...and alway's remember! "LOVE THY SELF ALWAY'S"

    You Have To Put Yourself First Sometimes...

    Goodluck I am here for ya!

    "BiG HuGs"


    4263 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4014916
    Come on now Terry, you a wonderful person, with so many friends here and all know you can do this and love thy self. Stress is no good for weight loss and learning to deal with life is tough but can get easier when you face the problem and say YOU MAY GET ME DOWN BUT YOU WON'T COUNT ME OUT.
    I am worth it, i deserve it , i want it, i will get it. Positive Positive Positive.
    Were here for you Terry.
    BJ emoticon
    4263 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1923850
    Hi Terry, I know exactly where you are coming from. Don't be mad at yourself for what has past. It's over and done with, now it's time to look at the future.

    That said, I had the exhaustion problem on Medifast as well. Something that helped me replenish some of what I was loosing on that plan was the Antioxidant Mixers they sell. Even though I am not on Medifast right now I'm still using these when I over do it a bit.
    Find them here...

    Also remember that you are on a very low cal plan and sometimes your body just needs to sleep a bit more because of it. No TV nights usually let me sleep better because I'm still tired when I lay down since I wasn't laying around for hours already.

    As for the gym maybe it's time to take a day away from the gym and do a sport with your son. It would be great bonding time and probably a harder workout than what you do at the gym. Plus it would be a lot of fun! And a great way to change up your routine.

    I hope you feel better! emoticon emoticon
    4263 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/12/2009 10:33:46 AM
    Hi Terry, it must be in the air or something. Lots of people, including myself, are struggling right now. Hopefully you will get up this morning and see that it is a brand new day and another opportunity to love yourself.

    I haven't messed up today. However, I haven't been up more than 20 minutes! LOL!

    4263 days ago
  • RINNY9
    Hang in there, sometime you can feel like this but you have got to push through! If you are unhappy with the gym, quit and join something else, a fitness class instead maybe? Or just have a break from the gym?
    4263 days ago
    There are many people who love you, so be a part of them, and love yourself!
    I'm sure you do and have just hit a bad patch.
    The work treadmill can really take it's toll.
    Hope you find some time in that crazy work day to take some time for yourself, even if it's just for a few minutes of peaceful thoughts.
    Wishing you the best. emoticon
    4263 days ago
  • BRANDI1809
    Terry, Come on my friend this isn't the way you should be thinking. Remember, you have been in this position before and survived & moved on, so you can do it again. OK so you have let things slide a bit.......haven't we all. But as you can see from all these comments, you have the support to get back on track....and you will. Just keep plodding onwards ever onwards.
    Jude xx
    4263 days ago

    Hating yourself is counter perductive. You need to love yourself, flaws and all. Just do the work and stop complaining, that is kind of harsh but jeez, this is what my father tells me "You can want in one hand and crap in the other." If you want to lose weight then just do it.

    I sound like something that belongs in a kennal. LOL!!!

    Good luck

    4263 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Hello TMACOOL,

    Don't be mad at yourself that you are taking it out on everybody. Breath, Thank God you had joined this site that can help you get back on track for a healthy life.

    When I joined I purchased a pedometer that had me so motivated into wanting to loss this weight.

    So take it a day at a time and just tell yourself that you can do it. Remember that it is going to take time for the weight to come off. Yes, we all have our bad days, but just hang in there and things will get better.

    I know what you mean when you need some time for yourself since you haven't had a vacation. Have you thought about just taking time for you on the weekend and get a pedicure, massage or whatever you like? Just tell you family that you need time for yourself they should understand or just go to a Hotel in your area and stay for a night or two. See if that will ease your mind.

    Just hang in there and take it a day at a time and just do what you can do. I always say the more you do it will be there tomorrow. You are just one person and don't kill yourself trying to complete all the task in one day. This cause you to get stress out and people would say she was a good worker who's the new person. Do you get what I mean.

    Keep up the good work and slow down.

    Let me know how you're doing.

    Get a good night sleep and start the next day fresh and don't let anything get you down. Love yourself first then you will love everybody .

    Keep the faith.
    4263 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/12/2009 1:44:31 AM
  • SASA140
    Stop the I hate myself crap - You are a worthy member of sparks and of life. If you have found 10 pounds you can loose it too. It may take a while but you can do it. By going to the gym you are setting such a good example to your son and teaching him a valuable lesson.

    You are showing him how much you love him and the rest of your family that you are willing to make changes so you can be around for a very long time for them and you.

    The minute you start saying I hate myself then you are setting yourself up to sink into that black hole of self loathing. Every night before going to bed think of 3 good things about yourself. Even if it is I put my dirty clothes in the hamper tonight, or I have nice eye lashes, or even I am luck to have such a wonderful son. You need to allow yourself to see the good in you more than the negative. I tell my clients that if they are having a hard time sleeping then get up make a chamomile tea and journal their thoughts. Instead of them racing around in the head putting them on paper gives an acknowledgement and release.

    Take care I have every confidence you can do it

    4263 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4046554
    Just take a deep breath !!! It will be fine you have so much on your plate right now (no pun intended ) (LOL) You can take 10 pounds off just drink water every hour drink it straight down (not healthy ) but will not hurt you then you will feel good on your birthday emoticon
    4263 days ago
    Don't put yourself down like that life is difficult. I know how you feel i have not excerise it feels like forever but yesterday i start all over again i know how it feel work children house work cooking and life get so busy you just don't have time for yourself so if you need to take a break and breath a little. Go ahead and take a couple day off other then that excerise is suppose to be fun like you have accomplish something for yourself. So take a couple days off because other then that is seem like its another task of life and not enjoyment. So many people take life for grant something it okay to lay back and smell the rose. And do worry about those 10 lbs it will come off you sound like you being doing a good job so for. So one day instead of going to the gym go home take a shower and watch a movie and relaxes emoticon
    4263 days ago
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