Sunday, September 20, 2009
Wow as usual it has been too long between blogs and thankfully someone reminded me of that.
SO I am blogging. I am starting over today-reinventing myself and what it means to be me!
So who am I and where am I going? I have been a lot of places and a lot of different things this year-mostly I've been a patient and an impatient patient at that. I have been a student, daughter, sister and a friend. But I you know the one thing I haven't been is me. Or at least the me I want to be.
I of course want to be healthy, wealthy and wise. So in the long run I have been slowly headed in the right direction. But now I am taking a little more control of my destiny-I know God is in charge but I need to help him too! He can't work miracles if I do not let him. So I have not gone back to school this fall since i didn't believe I wanted to start another semester behind from the beginning. I felt lilke since I was having surgery the second week of school and wouldn't know the outcome of it would be or mean for the long run-I needed to not go and place that stress on myself. So now this year is about getting healthy.
I've started to exercise again-despite the pain I still have. I have decide to have a prophylactic mastectomy in December and continue with the reconstruction as well. So I have just a little over two months to get my act together and be in the best shape I can be. This means tracking food everyday-even on the bad days-which I used to do until just recently. It also means getting off my butt everyday and getting in some exercise-even if it just 10-15 minutes. That I will reconnect myself with my friends and support system and not push everyone away.
I want to thank all of my spark friends who have supported me through all the stuff that has happened in the last year with my cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgeries, my fathers death and just my continual ups and downs of my mood disorder!! I could not have made it this far without your love, support and prayers-so THANK YOU!! I can never say that enough to make you all realize how important you are in my life!