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Pain and More Pain

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I wasn't going to talk about this but changed my mind.

As you know on Saturday Wheeler got an ileus which necessitated that we make a quick 2 hour trip to St. Louis for emergency surgery. During surgery she experienced a perforated bowel with repair. The kept her in ICU Saturday evening, all day Sunday, and Monday until the evening when she was scheduled for discharge.

On Monday my dad had open heart surgery. As I had an infection prior to his surgery I had been advised to not see him until my MRSA lesion and herpes simples (fever blister) had crusted over and I was fever free. This happened so I fit the parameter the hospital stated for when I could see him. My son and I got up early on Monday and planned on going down during the day as we didn't have to pick up Wheeler until later in the evening. The vet said if she got to come home they were open until midnight. Dad would be a 3 hour drive there and 3 hours back so we wanted to leave as soon as possible. So I called CCU and asked how dad was doing and how soon we could come to see him. I was told that they didn't know he had a daughter and that no one had mentioned me though I had called them every day. They were very suspicious and stated that I was not on a list of people who was allowed to visit. They told me that the only people on the list were my uncle and half brother. I was shocked and asked if my dad had prepared the list and they said it had been prepared by my brother who has power of attorney. They also told me that they could not share any information about dad's condition either. So I told them I would appreciate if they would tell my dad I called and to tell him that I love him. I was really hurt and angry. It's about the most inconsiderate thing that has ever happened to me. And I'm not referring to the hospital policy either.

I was pretty upset but I try to take things in stride and I decided to salvage the day. I spent my day catching up on housework so I would be ready for Wheeler. When my husband came home he asked me why we didn't go see dad and I told him while trying to act brave and keep from crying. I moved across the room and turned my back to my son and husband so they would not see my face but my son and husband both knew. My son got up out of his chair and came over and put his arm around me and I looked at my husband out of the corner of my eye and his eyes were full of tears as tears streamed down my face. I could not talk for quite a while and when I could I apologized as I'm not a tearful person or a whiner. All I could get out was that I can't even have permission to see my own father.

Well, enough said on that note. Life is full of painful events and it is best to move on. I know I am very blessed to have such a wonderful son and husband. I am going to concentrate on what I have and not on what I don't have.

We waited to hear from the vet and received a call from the her saying that Wheeler could go home but she had developed a post op complication. She had a prolapsed rectum that they hoped would resolve on it's own but I would have to take care of it by lubricating it every 2 hours around the clock. I agreed and we drove 2 hours there and 2 hours back to pick her up. The poor little thing was so glad to see me she put her little arms out to me to pick her up and she crawled onto me. My husband held her all the way home. She had 3 meds to give twice a day. I stayed up all night lubricating her prolapsed rectum but as the night went on it got worse and worse. By morning I had to call the vet and drive 2 hours to take her back over there as almost 3 inches of her rectum and intestine were out. The vet and his technician were shocked when they saw it and said I had done a good job of saving the tissues. They had to take her back to surgery and do a purse stitch on her rectum. She got to come back home and we drove the 2 hours home and she has been my lap baby practically every since. I did sleep last night with her cage next to my bed but I'm still tired. My son or husband takes her sometime for me so I can get a little work done. But she wants me. She does not want to be alone in the cage. She is not doing well. Not wanting to eat. Not having any stools. We may still lose her. It breaks my heart.

I called the hospital again today about Dad and he is out of CCU already and he was eating. I won't get to talk to him but at least he is doing well.

Thanks for being my friend.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    OMG, Morticia...I'm so sorry I haven't been reading your blogs for a few days. I have been very busy but that is no excuse for not being there for a friend. I hope you can forgive me.

    There is so much pain that my heart goes out to you. Know that you are in my prayers and that a higher power will look out for you. Things happen for a reason, as you've said to me and I know you will be a much stronger woman for all that has come to pass.

    Try to talk to your brother and see what happened if you haven't already. Sometimes there can be a terrible mix-up that can cause a lot of pain in a family without it meaning to happen. I know that your father loves you and knows that you are thinking of him.

    Poor little she doing any better yet? I hope so for your sake. I noticed on your posts that you have been trying to get some rest. Don't worry about life's little details right now. Just spending time with your husband and son and the babies will get you through.

    Again, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs from me and I wish I had been here sooner.

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    3749 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/17/2009 6:51:15 PM
  • no profile photo MYRENAISSANCE09
    I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this! I cannot imagine why your brother would be so heartless, you certainly don't deserve any of this. Saying a prayer for you, your father and family, and Wheeler. emoticon
    3750 days ago
    Hope it's a misunderstanding. If not, it's v. unreasonable, and I second JOMOLSON's comment.

    3750 days ago
    Keep calling the hospital until you can talk to him and go down there when you can. There are many different nurses and you'll find one who will help you. I'd also try to contact your uncle and brother, do not just take it. Have hubby call if you can't, but don't roll over, that's what people count on. I don't think your brother has a right to do that, POA or not. It is extremely difficult to keep someone away from family in the hospital—I say this from experience having dealt with a man who almost let his wife die from negligence.
    You are blessed to have your lovely husband and son. Prayers for dad, Wheeler, and you all.
    3750 days ago
    A few tears can relive a broken heart, I'm glad your son and husband understood and are there for you.

    The LORD GOD comfort and sustain you though this.

    Praying for you, you Dad and Wheeler.

    3750 days ago
    Wow, I am just in shock that someone would be so heartless.
    I will pray for you, and I will pray that your brother's eyes be open to how he is not only hurting you and your family, but also your father. I am sure you both could have used a hug from each other.
    Prayer is what I can do, cuz words seem empty right now.

    God is there.
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    3750 days ago
    OMG hon! I"m so very sorry! I have no idea how ugly your brother could be, that is the meanest ,low life thing I've ever heard of, and I've heard of some really bad ones. I pray for healing for your heart & his head.
    May Dad & Wheeler heal quickly.
    3751 days ago

    I am so sorry this is all happening to you.. I do not know what to say to make you feel better. Some people have the knack I don't- wish I did.. Prayers are with you and all your family.

    A big ole hug !!!
    3751 days ago
    My heart aches for you. I don’t know what the relationship is like between you and your brother but obviously there are issues. I hope that when your Dad is out of the hospital he can sign paperwork that overrides the POA so you are allowed to be at his bedside in the future. I am so glad Wheeler is now on the road to health. It sounded so cute when he held his little arms out to you. He sounds so sweet.

    3751 days ago
    My heart goes out to you... do you have any idea why your brother has not put you on the visit list? Have you adressed it with him? Keep strong... life is filled with trials but there is also much joy. The cloud will pass.
    3751 days ago
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    3751 days ago
    Hey, Tish, just remember that we are given only enough that we can handle, and we always find the strength to deal with it! It comes from somewhere deep within us, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I'm sure this always relieves a little of the stress. There are 4 little words that you can say.... 'this too shall pass' and indeed, it does, often before you know it.

    Honestly, 90% of whatever we worry about never happens, and isn't it amazing that you have got your precious little Wheeler next to you...animals always know when we need their love, don't they?

    Know that we are all thinking about you and your loving family, and that we are your family, too.

    With much love and hugs

    3751 days ago
    I really don't know where to start. I know that it is incredibly tough to deal with an animal that is ill but to have a parent sick on top of it is a lot.

    I'm sorry that they aren't letting you talk to your dad. Ihope that everything works out on that front as well.

    I'll continue to pray for you.

    3751 days ago
  • DEEGEE757
    I'm so sorry you have to be dealing with all of this. It's quite a handful :-( My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this very distressful time.


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    3751 days ago
    My heart goes out to you sweetie! I am praying for you, Wheeler, your dad, family, and your brother. Know that we are here for you. Try and get some rest if you can. Love you girl! emoticon
    3751 days ago
    3751 days ago
  • no profile photo JANC319
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    3751 days ago
    I cannot express how sorry I am about the things that are happening in your life now. I feel so sorry for your Wheeler too. You are all on my prayer list.
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    3751 days ago
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    3751 days ago
    Hon, I am so sorry for all your family strife, problems & pain. You don't mention that your taking care of you- though I'm sure your husband & son are worried about you too. It is so unfair that we have to endure family struggles during times like these. We went through the same & have lost. I pray that you can have some understanding between yours. Your in my prayers & Wheeler too! emoticon
    3751 days ago
    I'm so terribly sorry about Wheeler. Poor pumpkin -- I'm glad you have her there to give & receive love, as right now that is precisely the exchange You need.

    *enormous hug*

    [can I come kick your brother's arse for you?]
    3751 days ago
  • no profile photo JBEASRN
    Hey there, I know you don't know me but your blog was on the list of recent posts and I just happened to click on it. First off, I want to say BRAVO on realizing how much your husband and son are worth and seeing the positives in your life for what they are-- a blessing.

    Secondly, I wish for the best to come out of all situations. You sound as if you're going through a whole lot right now... and you wrote that you didn't want to write about it, but I wanted to let you know that I'm glad you did write about it. Seeing that other people have struggles and can make it through gives me hope. It makes it easier for me to see the positive in my life when I read stories like this one-- and I don't mean that in a bad way. I hope this comment helps.

    Thanks for posting.
    3752 days ago
    Oh my gosh...huge hugs and many prayers going your way. Please keep us posted as you're able.
    3752 days ago
  • JUNEBUG1944
    Oh, I am so sorry your brother is so hateful. Does he not realize that not only is he hurting you but he is also hurting your Dad? Your Dad needs all the love around him that is possible. That is what will help him the most. I hope your brother comes to his senses. I'm sure it will be resolved once your Dad is better.

    I hope Wheeler recovers. I know how much you love her. She needs all your love and support too. I imagine your holding her does wonders for her.

    You've had your share of bad news and bad things. I hope all goes well for you. emoticon
    3752 days ago
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