IS IT POSSIBLE....
Monday, October 19, 2009
Woke up this morning and weighed myself as I do every day....I weighed 183...wtf???
I just weighed 174 two days ago....It is possible to gain ten pounds in two days???? It just cant be true!! Yeah I ate horribly the last two days more FF than I have in a long time but come on ...I work out like a dog and only lose 1-2 pounds a week for a year, and then slack off and gain 5 pounds a day???? something is wrong, life is not being fair to me....did someone move my scale??? I just cant figure things out lately. Well ok I dont want to admit that Im not working out as hard as usual , or eating as healthy or working as hard on this....I cant get back my willpower and I think im slipping back into my old self.
It takes 30-40 days to break a habit so some say....well it has been a year of good habits and seems to have take one day to break my healthy habits .....that one day turned into a month or more....
Still think my scale is wrong but for some reason now I feel bigger again.....I cant seem to get passed all the negative and just feel good about where I am at and continue down the path.... ok I know its more than that!! I believe I know all the answers......Its just making myself get up and do something about it!!!
Im detoxing again.... and all I can think about is food....I want to eat anything and everything!! *sigh*
oh I have a confession, got home this morning from work and ate a piece of pizza (husband brought home) and some chocolate cake (mom and daughter made last night) then I went to bed. Took a percacet (had a minor little surgery friday) and went to bed around 8am got a up twice for a few mins then back to bed and slept til 915 pm ......then back to work tonight!! I feel bad for missing out on the whole day with my kids and mom, but my body feels sooooo much better. I cant even believe im yawning tonight though lol Probably just boredom though.... Its a slow night at work. Just reading about other peoples victories trying to get my motivation back! I love reading other peoples stories!! It really does motivate me most times! I do compare myself to others a lot though, I wish I would stop that! Looking at photos and thinking I look bigger than others that are the same weight things like that...I know its bad lol But mostly think wow if she can do it why cant I!! and maybe just maybe that day I will get up and work out!!
I think its still just me going through changes in my life, and wanting to change things about myself, my family, friends, everything.... Im striving for happiness, wanting to surround myself with positive.......oh if anyone knows a good book that has helped change their life to have a postive outlook Im up for suggestions!! I need a good read, or cds to listen to or something!! Thanks!!
I sat and listened to the sound of my daughters laugh for a while the other day. Not just a little giggle but a laugh like no other. Its was the best sound, and made me feel so good to hear it. and be a part of it. She really is the meaning of love to me!!
To all my sparky friends I hope your having a great Month and wishing everyone a little honest happiness!!