I'm re-posting a blog from APRIL 2009-- (Significant Meaning to Follow)
Have you ever had that light bulb go off
-or had a spiritual breakthrough where you realize you just had a profound thought and wish there was a way to put it into words? Well I'm going to try, though I'm sure this wont come of nearly as amazing as it seemed to me in my head yesterday. Perhaps it was more the whole situation that made it really cool.
So yesterday I'm running the mountain near my house. Its a warm day
(82 degrees), and there was hardly a soul in sight. Just me and mother nature on a beautiful day. I was 3/4 of the way done with the 3 mile trail. As I'm coming up the last hill before I descend down to where my car is I had a moment of clarity, just me all alone in the desert running listening to cold play's song "viva la vida", the words of the song say
"I could rule the world"
and I thought "HELL YAY I CAN RULE THE WORLD, I'M RULING IT RIGHT NOW!" ( like to pump myself up ha ha) It got me to thinking about my journey.
When I had my wake up moment of: "GET OFF YOUR ASS AND FIX THIS MESS YOU CALL YOURSELF!!" on September 25th 2008-I was 210 pounds
, miserable with the way I looked and felt, couldn't run for 5 seconds with out being winded, lift a 5lb weight
, or do more than 1 push up. Even though I was so sore I couldn't walk after my work outs
, I chugged on and pushed through because failure wasn't an option for me. I knew if I kept it up 'someday' I'd get to where I wanted to be. Even though I had no idea when 'someday' would come
. On days at the gym where I just wanted to give up and thought 'IT'S TOO HARD I CAN'T DO THIS!' I'd yell at myself (in my head) and say "STOP THAT! YES YOU CAN-THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE ON SPARK WHO HAVE DONE IT! PICTURE YOURSELF IN THAT BIKINI-PICTURE THE LOOK ON YOUR HUSBANDS FACE WHEN HE SEES YOU LOOKING THE BEST YOU'VE EVE BEEN
-IMAGINE GOING SHOPPING AND BUYING ANYTHING YOU WANT-YOU CAN DO THIS!"
When I started, 20 mins on the elliptical was my max, 5-10 lbs on the machines was all I could do
. After a few months I was doing 30-40 mins on the elliptical and lifting 10-20lb weights on the machines
. I could feel myself getting stronger
, it was getting easier and my body was changing
(WAAHOOO). BUT I still wasn't where I wanted to be (fitness wise). I wanted to do more!! Eventually, I got the courage to branch away from my old stand by the elliptical and tried a spinning class
. THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE (literally) But I FELL IN LOVE!! I had been so afraid and intimidated of spin classes and classes in general before. I always thought they were way out of my league and the expert spinners would take one look at me and think "WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE??". But it was totally the opposite! Sure it was a HUGE challenge at first and 20 mins in I wanted to quit
- but I struggled through it until I was better at it (who knew that would EVER happen!). I loved the spin class so much I decided to try other classes so I got into "LIFT" which was also surprisingly awesome! I now have muscles in places I never knew existed and I can flex my arms and see a bicep!
Now for my AH-HA moment: Yesterday on the mountain I realized
"HOLY CRAP I CAN RUN A MOUNTAIN!"
(Okay so I can't RUN the whole thing, BUT I do run the straight aways and the down slopes) NEVER EVER EVER in a million years would I have EVER pictured myself doing that. In fact I always watched those people and thought HOW CRAZY they were! But it got me to thinking "WHAT ELSE CAN I DO THAT I NEVER IMAGINED" and my big moment of clarity....... "ANYTHING!!!!". I know now that whatever I set my mind to can be done. If I want to run a marathon I can do that
! If I want to ride my bike from Phoenix to Tucson someday I can do that too!
I don't know where or when my moment of greatness will occur but it will be somewhere even if its just "MY" moment of greatness. With all I've been through, yesterday I proved to myself that never again will I allow any negative thoughts to defeat me because even what seems impossible - with lots of hard work - IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE!!!!!
spark on friends!!
So that was me April 2009 -- That "moment of greatness" and that elusive "someday" is here! I decided right after that blog "my moment" will be conquering the Grand Canyon this year. A task that previously would have never even crossed my mind or seemed possible is happening in two days!! Parts of me can't believe I'm even doing it, and the other part of me knows I've been ready for some time. This last year has been an amazing journey and looking back at past blogs truly shows me that I CAN do anything I put my mind to. NO matter how hard things ever get, we all start somewhere, but CAN achieve greatness!!! Even though I started not being able to do a single push up or exercise for more than 5 minutes with out wanting to die, HERE I AM hiking the grand canyon!! This trip has been a year in the making. When I started this journey I knew I wanted to achieve greatness, push myself to do things never before imaginable, and show myself just what I'm made of!! So here's one of many chances - I know it wont stop here, this trip will be the first of many. It will not be easy, 11 miles down, followed by two days of exploring & rugged camping, then 11 miles out will be no easy feat but I'm more than up to the challenge! I've spent the last few days preparing myself and packing. I've mentally prepared myself knowing I've never done this long of a distance hike before, I'm prepared with all the necessary supplies, and ready to do this thing!! I've spent the last two days psyching myself up watching videos on you tube and reading others online journals about their experiences. I can't wait to set my own eyes on one of the most photographed places on the planet, bask in waterfalls, and be able to say "I HIKED THE GRAND CANYON!"
Some of our food-Not the most nutritionally sound, but its light weight and easy to cook. Not yet purchased: dried fruit & & summer sausage
Some of the Supplies-Not pictured: tent, sleeping bag & a few other misc items
My Pack - 23 pounds (with out water)
Me-surprisingly it doesn't feel very heavy
I am back there somewhere LOL
You wouldn't know it by looking at the previous pictures but a lush oasis lies at the bottom-one of the most photographed places on earth Havasupai - "people of the blue green water"