October 28, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
It doesn't seem like it has been as long as it has since I blogged. I checked this morning and I started my exercise program Sept 26. In this time I have missed 3 times getting my walk in. No excuses just didn't get it done those days. There is a treadmill downstairs so inclement weather is not an excuse. Darn it!!!! Yesterday was the worst day I have had. It rained and for some reason my back and legs hurt so I took tylenol and I don't know if that did it or what but I had a couple naps yesterday and really didn't do anything constructive other than laundry and fixed us something to eat along with doing the dishes. While I can't say my eating was out of control and didn't feel it was a really good day. I did have three bite size Three Musketeer Bars. What is done is done. One day out of thirty or so. It always seems we remember the one day of non abstinence compared to the other twenty nine.
I still fill myself spiritually before doing my exercise or anything else and this seems to help me stay on track more than anything else. My goal is simply to hit those five pound increments on the scale. I have achieved one and three more pounds to the next. Success is a scary thing for me. Although I haven't lost enough weight for people to notice I know that when that does happen and people start asking questions I get an uneasy feeling. I don't really want to talk about it. I am examining these feelings and preparing for this by trying to face these issues head on. Don't get me wrong I like recognition but at the same time people noticing reminds me of my lack of control...........allowing myself to get so out of control and acknowledging once again my failure to take care of this body God gave me. I thing it also puts pressure on me because others know I've been working toward this goal and feel they expect me to succeed. I've failed so many times and I immediately think this will just be like all the other times.
I have gotten my walk in this morning and feel so much better today. I've just about completed my third nativity set so it only leaves me one more to go. I now have to figure out how to package them. I'm toying with the idea of making my own storage containers and embroidering their names with a scene of the nativity. This may take some imagination and I'm not sure I can make it work. But as with everything else you never know until you try.
Positives and gratitudes..............the continuation of being filled spiritually...................
getting back on track.................the tools to complete my exercise commitment............strength of prayer...............facing roadblocks and preparing for them................strength and support I receive...................the progress on the nativity sets..................my endurance is improving...........Bob who is so understanding when I don't feel good...............God without him trials and tribulations would be unbearable.