Wednesday, December 23, 2009
On Friday, when I was in labor, I asked my husband to sit next to me so I could hold his hand and squeeze when a bad contraction came on. He had no problems with this, but he did ask me why I thought it helped. This wasn't an insensitive question coming from him, we're both naturally inquisitive. And really, I didn't have a concrete answer for him, I could only speculate that it provided some kind of focus and/or closeness to another.
Since then, I've been thinking about this whole holding hands concept. This is often a snarky statement made by people who feel someone is asking for assistance they don't need "Do I need to hold your hand through all of this?!?" But, often it is really a place we all turn to at some point...at least I do. As I mentioned, I held my husbands hand through the physical pain of labor, I held his hand through the joy of our wedding, I remember holding my sisters hand during our nephews funeral. So, what is it that makes us feel better when holding someone's hand?
I stick to my first speculations. First of all it gives some kind of focus related to the situation. Often, I think this type of focus is of love and support from the individual you are holding hands with. It is like a non-verbal way of saying I trust you with this emotion, whatever it may be. And that ties into the closeness feeling, that by holding hands with someone during a tough time you know that they are close enough to support you when you need it most.
This is kind of what Spark People is all about. We are all here to hold each others hand when needed. Whether that is to offer support during tough times, times of success, and often non-weight related issues. One thing I love about Spark People is I've felt welcomed and supported the entire time I've been here, from day one signing up, to day one returning to the stie. Knowing there will always be people here to support me where I need it most is a great "feature" of this site, and I'm glad to have found it.
So, if you're reading this entry, thank you so much for all of your support!! Who knows when I'll need it next, but just knowing you are here helps me come back to the site each day :)