Holding Hands

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

On Friday, when I was in labor, I asked my husband to sit next to me so I could hold his hand and squeeze when a bad contraction came on. He had no problems with this, but he did ask me why I thought it helped. This wasn't an insensitive question coming from him, we're both naturally inquisitive. And really, I didn't have a concrete answer for him, I could only speculate that it provided some kind of focus and/or closeness to another.

Since then, I've been thinking about this whole holding hands concept. This is often a snarky statement made by people who feel someone is asking for assistance they don't need "Do I need to hold your hand through all of this?!?" But, often it is really a place we all turn to at some least I do. As I mentioned, I held my husbands hand through the physical pain of labor, I held his hand through the joy of our wedding, I remember holding my sisters hand during our nephews funeral. So, what is it that makes us feel better when holding someone's hand?

I stick to my first speculations. First of all it gives some kind of focus related to the situation. Often, I think this type of focus is of love and support from the individual you are holding hands with. It is like a non-verbal way of saying I trust you with this emotion, whatever it may be. And that ties into the closeness feeling, that by holding hands with someone during a tough time you know that they are close enough to support you when you need it most.

This is kind of what Spark People is all about. We are all here to hold each others hand when needed. Whether that is to offer support during tough times, times of success, and often non-weight related issues. One thing I love about Spark People is I've felt welcomed and supported the entire time I've been here, from day one signing up, to day one returning to the stie. Knowing there will always be people here to support me where I need it most is a great "feature" of this site, and I'm glad to have found it.

So, if you're reading this entry, thank you so much for all of your support!! Who knows when I'll need it next, but just knowing you are here helps me come back to the site each day :)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love this subject!!! I am the same way with giving out {{{hugs}}} There is nothing like a heart felt hug of love or support too! And it can be used the same way as you mentioned on holding hands...
    yeah... the touch of a caring person can heal a lot of wounds physical ones, like scrapes from a fall or mental ones of someone supporting another when they are suffering inside. When words just don’t seem to work anymore… there is that touching that reaching out for another in order to help them… that can be miraculous!
    What a sweet and wonderful husband you have to sit there and hold your hand… supporting you threw your pain while you were in labor for your child! I am so glad that God blessed us with that sort of power! I am sure your little girls will need your hand to lead them threw life. And they will know all of the love and power of holding hands for supporting others as adults too… You are doing a tremendous job teaching that and passing it on to your girls! {{{hugs}}}
    *A little tear in my eye*… Lois
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    3886 days ago
    What a great blog!! Thanks for sharing.
    3886 days ago
    There is nothing like the power of touch, nothing!
    3887 days ago
    I think the Beetles had it right in their song: 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand,' when they harmonize during the abridge: "'Cuz when I touch you I feel happy inside."
    And, yes, I've felt the sting of that snarky comment, "Whaddya want me to do? Hold your hand?"
    My mammaw used to say that whenever, as a young child, I would say I was going to the bathroom or out to play or whatever.
    It wasn't until I was grown and had children of my own and caught myself saying it that I realized what a hateful remark it reallly is. It felt awful on my lips and my child looked crushed. I softened immediately and hugged them and forever replaced that horrid phrase with: "Thank you for letting me know, sweetheart."
    Happy parenting : )
    3887 days ago
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