300,000-349,999 SparkPoints 312,057

Ain't Gonna Spend the Rest of my Life Quietly Fading Away

Monday, January 04, 2010

Every day, in some way or another, I am looking for work. I have had long-term unemployment before, twice. How long term? Is three years long enough? And I've had that twice. Yeah. It stinks. You start to really, really question your value, and not just in the work arena. It messes with your vision of yourself as a contributor to society, as a person of value.

I don't blame all of my weight gain on this but it did not help, by any means. I know I packed on a good 80 or so the first time I had a three-year furlough, and probably another 60 for the second three-year furlough. As for the other 60, eh, who knows? It all happened over the course of two or so decades so it was slices of pizza and bags of papadum chips and real ice cream and of course not working out. Everyone who's reading this knows the drill.

And so I am trying my darnedest to not let that happen a third time. It is not just because of my health although that is a piece of it. It is also because of, let's face it, our finances. We are doing fine but another shock to the retirement fund is not advisable.

Hence I am beating the bushes. I have been to one networking party and today I had a networking call, actually there were two as I managed to finagle a second one with someone I really wanted to talk to. Tomorrow is a networking meeting. Then Wednesday is another networking party (same folks from the first one I went to), then another meeting on Friday. Next week is a job fair, a night at Mass. Innovation and four or five more networking meetings.

Plus there are another five people to call but that will be after surgery. I am tapped. I can't even think about any more meetings or phone calls. Between that and everything I'm trying to watch on Twitter, etc., I'm feeling a sense of losing control. I know I'm doing a lot but it is awfully tiring. Of course some of this is the almost three hours I spent shoveling snow for the past two days. But I'm also just getting a bit wiped by having to be on, and perky. I can do perky and I can explain what I want to do, yet again, to yet another person. That's all fine. And I can also tell I'm online too much, and that's fatiguing me as well.

Hence -- and now that I have made it to the top Spark trophy anyway, a new regimen is in place (some of this is shamelessly stolen from Lab Lover):
* Unsubscribe from any spark mails I don't really read. I don't need the points any more, so who cares?
* Answer blogs whenever I want to, not just two and then be done because that's all I get points for in a day. Answer one. Or none. Or seven.
* No more adding to topics if I have nothing to really say, again, just to get points. Man, I was greedy in the points department, eh? :) Answer topics, or not, as desired and for no other reason.
* No more reading articles that don't interest me, same reason as above.
* Leave teams where I'm not active.
* Continue using the food and exercise trackers. Continue tracking other goals. Continue checking in. Continue contributing to teams as desired.

I do plenty of other things online -- SparkPeople isn't my only source of long-time online syndrome. But it is a piece of it, and a piece I can take care of, probably more readily than other areas (e. g. I can't exactly cut back on moderating my site).

Again, I am rambling, I know. There are really two points to this blog entry. One, I am going to reprioritize as much as I can in order to maximize my chances of finding a job. And, two, some of that means less sparking. For me, though, it will be separating the wheat from the chaff, to only do what I need to, and want to, and no longer be a slave to the points. It feels kind of liberating to write that.

In the meantime, enjoy The Alan Parsons Project.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I procrastinate way too much---I have too many blogs piled up and am answering today-- my fingers are tired, lol!

    I am sure somethjing good will come your way! I am pulling for you!
    4031 days ago
    Something will pop. And I don't mean the button on your jeans.

    I found my weight loss routine improved after I gave up being a slave to SP points, logging food, etc. Maybe there are some people who need a hand up and can walk the walk once the routine has taken hold.

    It can be done. Be kind to yourself, keep your balance.

    Two points to your blog... you meant to say that, didn't you?!

    You are a great source of inspiration to so many of us in so many ways. Thank you!

    emoticon emoticon
    4032 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/9/2010 7:53:45 AM
    I've had 2 interviews in the last 7 days. So they are looking for us. It's just a matter of time. Mercury is in retrograde through the 12th and then things will start moving along. I just know it. I agree that Spark can suck up your life and make regular life activities like exercise unlikely. But in a way you need spark more than ever before in your new post Alli reality. I am depending on you to stay fit and trim, because I look up to you. So.. There. I hope that isn't too much pressure.

    I do believe that jobs are a coming and soon. It won't be long now.

    4035 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/6/2010 11:53:11 AM
    Wishing you well on your job search. Now that the holidays are over and days are getting longer something good will come. I read you on the wasting time on line, I've cut back. I do check to she if you have blogged.

    Who is the funny flat face on your wallpaper? I will have to visit that site as it looks like my Scooter. Seal brindle with the exact same blaze.
    4035 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4749243
    Hurray for you! You are a fascinating and obviously competent woman--much more than a formerly fat person! You have been successful where so many others have failed. You'll find that job and though I'd sure miss hearing what you're up to, don't allow other folks' feelings or anything else to guilt trip you!

    I may be talking to myself here--you and LL are channelling the same spirit who's been whispering in my ear.

    emoticon See my latest blog.

    Got get 'em Sweetheart! If what you want is out there go after it with the same spirit you lost all those pounds! emoticon

    Happy New Year. Now I'm going out for a walk!
    4036 days ago
    Don't ya love the new trophy system!! I now look forward to the end of the month. It's more for the exercise ones then anything but it's another fun part of SP.

    Good luck on the job search. When it happened to me I had to set limits. I easily become obsessed. So from 8am - Noon was my phone time...recruiters, networking. I also checked the job sites for any new postings. At 12:01pm I was out the door doing something for me. i just felt like sometimes it was very overwhelming and defeating. So I always took time for me. Too bad I wasn't into working out then.

    I have also had to cut back on my SP time. I only get about an hour a day and was spending too much time reading stuff I just didn't enjoy. So I too have cut back on the teams I don't participate in, blogs I read and articles I read. Good luck with your plan and search. I know it gets tough out there but you are one tough cookie! Hang in there.
    4036 days ago
  • JLITT62
    I totally understand about having to be on being tiring. I feel that way, too. I guess any time we're not completely true to ourselves, it's just fatiguing, but sometimes it's gotta be done.

    Because I have to use my husband's computer (mine is still not fixed), I have limited my online time, too. It IS a good thing. I'm still probably spending a couple of hours online a day, and that seems like an awful lot at that! And yes, sparking isn't the only thing I do online, either, altho it is a big part of it.

    So yeah, go after what's important to you. Go for it!
    4036 days ago
    Just popping to say hi, and wish you all the best of luck in your job search. I only know too well how that feels.

    I was lucky to register with a recruitment agency where the guys really cared about finding their customers new jobs, and although it took a whole 18 months for me to find it, I am now (although temporarily) somewhere I truly like. I hope you can be as lucky very soon.

    If you are networking, are you on LinkedIn? I found that a lot of the recuiters are there too so that may help.

    I was writing to a friend yesterday and realised the irony of having had free time whilst unemployed to look after my self, exercise etc, yet combined with such feelings of wanting to give up that I ended up putting quite a bit of weight on (before eventually finding SP and making better more positive choices).

    Bottom line? Keep active and busy, and think lateraly when it comes to income. Can your hobby, your website, your skills make money? Can you learn something new?

    In any case, and despite the past 3 years...stay upbeat, and come vent whenever you need to...that's what we are here for too!

    Good luck my Spark friend!
    4036 days ago
    I totally understand. I have rules that I must track food and fitness before I can play on SP. Some days I just don't have time to play...or I just don't want to hang out on SP.

    You are an inspiration, whether you respond to every comment I send you or not. I absolutely do not require it.
    4036 days ago
  • JOHAL52
    I hear what you say about doing things just for points. But I also agree with Lab-Lover that it helps me keep doing some good things like exercise and nutrition. And I think that's what you were saying too--that you would continue to do the things that are meaningful and jettison those that aren't. Bravo!

    As far as job hunting goes, I have been there too. Right now I substitute teach. At 57 going on 58 I find it SO tiring and the pay is way lower than what I was getting as a university administrator but it's the best kind of part-time job to get my Medicare points in.

    4036 days ago
    Ah... here's the voice of experience again...

    First it IS liberating NOT to be a slave to points. It feels decadent, but I now delete those 1 point articles if they aren't interesting to me and don't bother to take the time to open them and score the point. Nope... just hit delete. I still haven't hit the final trophy, but I'll get maybe one a year now, so it's not a big motivatation.

    BUT... at the same time... when I completely forgot about points, my healthy habits faded away. So, I'd recommend that you figure out the minumum number of points/day that works for healthy activities -- food tracker points, exercise points, checking off goal points and make one of your goals to get THAT many a day.

    But the other stuff... yep, let it go and focus on what's important to YOU! Mayoral duties in Metropolis perhaps. And oh yeah... the job search! (wonder if Metropolis needs an assistant mayor?)

    4036 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3248497
    Hey you got to do what you got to I was looking for a job too. I figure why now? I have been ready to leave, I want to leave, & you never know.
    4037 days ago
    I hope you find a job that will be good for you soon.
    4037 days ago
    Wow you're doing a lot of networking - I'm sure it'll bring fruit! Whittle and cut back on unwanted online stuff and stay healthy and strong! And congrats on the big trophy! I don't remember how many points I have now or which trophy. Streaks on the other hand - ohlala!
    When's your surgery?
    4037 days ago
    Congrats on the big trophy (I don't know how you and LL get all those points!)

    I wish you every success in the job hunt. I know it takes a lot of tenacity, so go get em! full force!
    4037 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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