It's A New Year & A Relationship With Daddy Repaired
Friday, January 08, 2010
I just returned home yesterday from a nice long vacation. My DH and I went to Dallas, Texas to visit my family. I saw my maternal grandmother who is now 88, my only remaining aunt (no uncles left) on my mother's side and one of my cousins. Then I headed over to my father's side of town for a visit that turned out to be more than wonderful. I hadn't seen my father in 15 years do to differences of opinions related to my wedding. He felt spending $20,000 on a wedding when I was 22 years old was too much when we didn't have a house or our college education. Add to that he didn't know how long the marriage would last. Now we are both educated, have a house/home, are very happily married and daddy is quiet surprised but happy for us nonetheless. This disagreement over money spent on the wedding led him to make a decision of not participating in my wedding or even being present. This hurt me badly and the relationship went for a good father-daughter relationship to a non-existent one. Over the last 4-5 years I made an effort to at least reach out to him because of a friend who had lost both her mother and father. She told me, at least your parents are still living, you should make the effort to talk to your dad before one day he is no longer on the earth. These words affected me and so I made the effort. Now, after talking on the phone from time to time and moving from superficial conversations to real conversations led us to this reunion visit.
I wasn't sure how it was all going to go but in the end it went much better than expected. We have missed each other and we are both elated to be on the ins again with one another. We agreed to disagree about money spent on the wedding and move forward. My dad is also on the outs with all of his siblings but one. That one, my uncle came and picked me up from my hotel and off to visit each of my aunts and uncles. I even got to see some of my cousins on my daddy's side.
I am very grateful for my uncle's efforts and it was enlightening to say the least. From a medical perspective I found out that heart attacks are prevalent on my father's side. Both paternal grandparents died of a heart attack in their late 50's and early 60's. My 39 year old cousin who is NOT overweight had a heart attack thank God he is still living. My uncle had 2 heart attacks and a stroke - he is maybe 20 pounds overweight, thank God he is getting around quite well. Another uncle had a brain aneurysm but has recovered remarkably well. Finally, another relative which shall remain nameless had diabetes.
On my mother's side my deceased aunt died from having a heart attack, my cousin (her son) had a heart transplant, my cousin (her daughter) has heart problems, another aunt who is deceased had water on her heart and ultimately died of non-heart related issues.
The moral of all this is - at 395 pounds, I have to get this weight off of me. I am 36 years old and younger than each of the above people but heavier than them all. As a result, I HAVE to get this weight off of me, I do not want to suffer a heart attack or worse!!! So I'm preparing my plan of attack and by Monday, I should be back on the boat PERMANENTLY!!!!!