January 18th, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
My grandfather always was full of quotes, very intelligent man, one quote he always said to me was: Patience and perseverence the sweet oils of success. Last night I was talking to my baby brother and found out my grandfather blessed him with more crass quotes than he did to his granddaughters. The quote he told me made me laugh and does not need to be repeated on line.
I will stick with the above quote.
I noticed around the age of 19 that I started to use food for other purposes in my life. I was a new mother and was in a bad marriage. I went to therapy for the problem when I was 23 because by that point it had developed into an eating disorder that made me quite thin.
Today I am not thin...I went the other direction. For me it really is not about the number on the scale. It is about consistency & caring for myself. I was happiest when I was able to abstain from insane eating behaviors.
I was happy whether I was 130 pounds or 160 pounds. I have been all the pounds in between: five pounds at birth to 226 pounds giving birth to 182 pounds today. But, I do not have the peace I had when I was good to me.
Today I am choosing peace. And trusting that if I am patient and persevere I will encompass my spirit with a body that reflects who I really am.