ROZZIECOFFEE83

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The Top 3 and a little confession

Thursday, February 04, 2010

I woke up this morning in a foul mood. I'm not usually a morning person to begin with, but today I feel like something is off. Do you ever have days like that? I didn't sleep well and feel preoccupied with all the things going on in my life right now: grad school applications, a guy I like, laundry...big and little things. On a positive note, the sunrise was beautiful this morning. It created a rainbow in the sky. I try to keep things in perspective when I can, especially when I'm having a bad day.

So, the top 3! After reading Bird_Girl's blog post about putting everything else first in her life, I was inspired to write down my top 3 priorities. The list I posted on her blog was short, so I feel I need to elaborate on the points. Hopefully by writing them down and explaining them, it will be easier to follow through with them.

Numero Uno: Me. I have to be first in my life. I've often used food and laziness as a stress remedy when I feel invisible and used (which happens a lot). I cannot do this anymore! My health should be first in my life. And I am not just talking about losing weight. I need to put physical and emotional health first because I can't be the person I need to be if I am sick and anxious all the time. I can't be anything to anybody in that state! I also need to focus on my spiritual health. Faith doesn't come easily to me, but I am learning to open up my heart and soul. It's a slow process, but I feel the effects already. It keeps me centered and helps me to keep the big picture in my eye line. I just want to feel balanced and in (relative) control of myself. And life as simply as possible. Another part of the "ME" section is to prepare for my future. I am in a job that doesn't respect me, doesn't pay me what I'm worth, and treats me poorly. I am too young and too free to be stuck to a job that seems stable, but makes me miserable! If I had a husband and kids, I would understand taking a job and staying in one place. But that's not me! That's not where I'm at in my life! So I need to put the next step first as well. I am almost done applying for an ideal graduate program. I need to focus my attention on it and manifest an acceptance into the university.

Ok, numero dos: My family and close friends. My family has always come first in my life, ever since I was a kid. My parents are getting older and my siblings are getting married and having kids. Their lives are changing as much as mine and I like to be there for them. I am so thankful for them (in spite of all their craziness) and want to show my love for them through support. I try to talk to everyone in my family on a regular basis. It doesn't always work, but that's what emails are for, right? As for friends, I need to realize that I don't have to be a best friend to everybody. I have decided to really nuture the relationships that I hold most dear and continue to be nice to all the other people. It's really hard to mean something to everybody, you know?

Numero tres: My causes. I am an exceptionally idealistic person. I truly believe that we create our own worlds! I try to live my life in the way that way and if I inspire others along the way, it's a welcome addition! I try to volunteer regularly and give back. I eat a vegan diet and try to be as environmentally sound as possible. I try to buy fair-trade when I can. I think there is enough suffering in the world without my adding to it! I sign petitions, read newsletters, ask and answer questions...living a life of service is part of who I am. I can't forget that, even when I get anxious over little things. My intention is to live simply and kindly. It's a priority.

Now for the little confession. I hate to admit this, but I've been eating and not tracking it. I am feeling guilty about it. I track my meals and snacks, but late at night, when I am working on my grad school application or stressing out about my awful job, I get really hungry. That's bad in and of itself, but I eat WAY too much. And since my roommate is asleep, I grab the easiest foods possible. Of course those aren't always the healthiest options! Last night was okay, an apple with some peanut butter, but I ate more than I should have. The tracking has made me realize that I need to get it under control because it is undermining all of my goals! It's my life, right?

Phew, that was long. Have a wonderful day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BIRD_GIRL
    Wow! Thank you so much for your honesty! And I'll let you in on a little secret. I was in a job I hated about 7 years ago. One day, I realized the reason I was having so much trouble getting out of bed was because I dreaded going to work. I quit my job and spent 3 very scary months searching for a new one. Eventually I took an internship (and a serious cut in pay). At first my internship was only marginally related to the field I wanted to pursue. But I made it clear to my bosses where I wanted to go and within a year I had been promoted to my dream job. Now, my job isn't just a job it is a passion. Many of the problems I was blogging about yesterday, are extra tasks I have been asked to take on due to budget cuts. And even though I get stressed from all of that work, I still love my job. And in 7 years I haven't had a single day where I didn't want to get out of bed.
    4002 days ago
  • ROZZIECOFFEE83
    Ok, I'll start today.
    4003 days ago
  • MANDABEAR11
    Even if you ate terrible, track it and you can acknowledge what you have done (good and bad) I did that my very first weekend on SP, I blew it diet wise and didn't want to track it cause I was so embarassed, but I just DID IT and saw it wasn't as terrible as I thought. I've stayed within my calorie range for the last 3 days, which doesn't sound like much but considering it's only been just over a week that's a decent ratio. Tough it out and the rewards will show through! emoticon
    4003 days ago
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