The Top 3 and a little confession

Thursday, February 04, 2010

I woke up this morning in a foul mood. I'm not usually a morning person to begin with, but today I feel like something is off. Do you ever have days like that? I didn't sleep well and feel preoccupied with all the things going on in my life right now: grad school applications, a guy I like, laundry...big and little things. On a positive note, the sunrise was beautiful this morning. It created a rainbow in the sky. I try to keep things in perspective when I can, especially when I'm having a bad day.

So, the top 3! After reading Bird_Girl's blog post about putting everything else first in her life, I was inspired to write down my top 3 priorities. The list I posted on her blog was short, so I feel I need to elaborate on the points. Hopefully by writing them down and explaining them, it will be easier to follow through with them.

Numero Uno: Me. I have to be first in my life. I've often used food and laziness as a stress remedy when I feel invisible and used (which happens a lot). I cannot do this anymore! My health should be first in my life. And I am not just talking about losing weight. I need to put physical and emotional health first because I can't be the person I need to be if I am sick and anxious all the time. I can't be anything to anybody in that state! I also need to focus on my spiritual health. Faith doesn't come easily to me, but I am learning to open up my heart and soul. It's a slow process, but I feel the effects already. It keeps me centered and helps me to keep the big picture in my eye line. I just want to feel balanced and in (relative) control of myself. And life as simply as possible. Another part of the "ME" section is to prepare for my future. I am in a job that doesn't respect me, doesn't pay me what I'm worth, and treats me poorly. I am too young and too free to be stuck to a job that seems stable, but makes me miserable! If I had a husband and kids, I would understand taking a job and staying in one place. But that's not me! That's not where I'm at in my life! So I need to put the next step first as well. I am almost done applying for an ideal graduate program. I need to focus my attention on it and manifest an acceptance into the university.

Ok, numero dos: My family and close friends. My family has always come first in my life, ever since I was a kid. My parents are getting older and my siblings are getting married and having kids. Their lives are changing as much as mine and I like to be there for them. I am so thankful for them (in spite of all their craziness) and want to show my love for them through support. I try to talk to everyone in my family on a regular basis. It doesn't always work, but that's what emails are for, right? As for friends, I need to realize that I don't have to be a best friend to everybody. I have decided to really nuture the relationships that I hold most dear and continue to be nice to all the other people. It's really hard to mean something to everybody, you know?

Numero tres: My causes. I am an exceptionally idealistic person. I truly believe that we create our own worlds! I try to live my life in the way that way and if I inspire others along the way, it's a welcome addition! I try to volunteer regularly and give back. I eat a vegan diet and try to be as environmentally sound as possible. I try to buy fair-trade when I can. I think there is enough suffering in the world without my adding to it! I sign petitions, read newsletters, ask and answer a life of service is part of who I am. I can't forget that, even when I get anxious over little things. My intention is to live simply and kindly. It's a priority.

Now for the little confession. I hate to admit this, but I've been eating and not tracking it. I am feeling guilty about it. I track my meals and snacks, but late at night, when I am working on my grad school application or stressing out about my awful job, I get really hungry. That's bad in and of itself, but I eat WAY too much. And since my roommate is asleep, I grab the easiest foods possible. Of course those aren't always the healthiest options! Last night was okay, an apple with some peanut butter, but I ate more than I should have. The tracking has made me realize that I need to get it under control because it is undermining all of my goals! It's my life, right?

Phew, that was long. Have a wonderful day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! Thank you so much for your honesty! And I'll let you in on a little secret. I was in a job I hated about 7 years ago. One day, I realized the reason I was having so much trouble getting out of bed was because I dreaded going to work. I quit my job and spent 3 very scary months searching for a new one. Eventually I took an internship (and a serious cut in pay). At first my internship was only marginally related to the field I wanted to pursue. But I made it clear to my bosses where I wanted to go and within a year I had been promoted to my dream job. Now, my job isn't just a job it is a passion. Many of the problems I was blogging about yesterday, are extra tasks I have been asked to take on due to budget cuts. And even though I get stressed from all of that work, I still love my job. And in 7 years I haven't had a single day where I didn't want to get out of bed.
    4002 days ago
    Ok, I'll start today.
    4003 days ago
    Even if you ate terrible, track it and you can acknowledge what you have done (good and bad) I did that my very first weekend on SP, I blew it diet wise and didn't want to track it cause I was so embarassed, but I just DID IT and saw it wasn't as terrible as I thought. I've stayed within my calorie range for the last 3 days, which doesn't sound like much but considering it's only been just over a week that's a decent ratio. Tough it out and the rewards will show through! emoticon
    4003 days ago
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