Thursday, February 25, 2010
Made it through yesterday. It is interesting to hear what people say about the situation. My brother said to me, that I can't live like that. This coming from the guy I am lucky if I talk to once a month and he only lives 10 minutes away. Another one of our good friends said to me that he doesn't quite understand his thinking sometimes and he needs to realize that he doesn't have it so bad. One of the things that I thought of is why is it OK for him to treat me and my boys like he does? I and they deserve better than waiting for the next time he will be upset with us. I am tired of living like that. Why does he get to decide how it has to be. Why can it not be a partnership. I didn't have a partner I had another child. He forgets about all the times that I gave in and he got what he wanted and we now have the credit card debt to prove it. He wanted this house and was pushing to move from where we were yet he gets stressed over the financial responsibility for it. Yet somehow I think deep down he doesn't care that it is there. Oh well. If he has an extra dime in his pocket he has to spend it until it is all gone. Sometimes I feel like I am the only responsible one. I don't think he has it in him. Someone said to me he does things that he knows that are wrong, but he doesn't care. I cannot live with someone like that anymore. I deserve better than that. I have so much to offer someone special out there. Will I ever find him? I don't know but I am going to get myself in shape and see what happens. I have a long road ahead with the financial and house issues and with the legal stuff too and I will get through it a better person for myself and my boys.