Sunday, March 07, 2010

Bad day house cleaning and doing bedding. Nothing good to report. Tomorrow is yearly physical and errands.
Major hassles with spouse . Been a high stress day. Did take a short nap to take care of me. I get so tired of being threatened with ruin and having everything thrown up at me for my entire life. He feels I owe him for paying my medical coverage. I get under four hundred dollars a month and cover all that I can. I am so tired of the financial arguments that lead to all his put downs and in my face attitude he even sent emails to my sons telling them I am crazy and unstable because I am not grateful and happy here or with him .He is 68 and runs like a school kid to my friends and sons when ever I disagree with him. I feel sorry for my sons and friend having to put up with his bull and lies. My friend called telling me my spouse told him I was going crazy and might hurt myself. I hate living her but that is not a way out I'd have to leave my rottie girls behind with him and that is a NO WAY. Things were better where I used to live . I had family and friends and got out of the house. We are stuck with each other and I am his only target besides being his target of choice. Being isolated has not brought out the best in him. Our relationship has been over for more years then I can remember. Our marriage has never been good and finances has always been what has forced us to stay together. We live on the same acre but not in the same room(never) and share the kitchen. He sleeps in another area of the ranch a small outer building. He chose the house and living arrangements. I had no say unless I wanted to be homeless. But I am suppose to be grateful for every scrap of food and all that he does for me. Sorry I'm not. I feel after 32 years I should have some basic rights. I keep the cost down. Heater never goes over 60, I do use water and bathe everyday and do wear clean clothes. I feel entitled to these basic rights being married and all .We have no joint credit or bank account, the house is in his name . All I want is a life , a life of my own. I would like to get a real relationship with a true companion and unconditional love besides from my dogs.
Need a good attorney to sort things out. Don't want to shaft him just want a fair break and a chance for me. Does that make me crazy? To want a life free of abuse and put downs. My health isn't great and no one knows how many years they have left and I want some quality in mine. I am a good person and deserve more then this! If i had family or relatives I could more in with I would have a long time ago.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Get an attorney when you are ready. It doesn't matter that the house is in his name, you still get half. My husband's brother's marriage broke up 2 years ago. the house was in his name. She still got half. As a matter of fact, the court made him get out of the house and she lives in it. It is on the market and when it is sold, she will get half.

    I wish I could help you. I truly do.
    3847 days ago
    Dear friend you know we are all here to support you. The advice the others have given is right on. Please continue to blog and rant when you need. Know that you are in my prayers. Start making a plan for your safety and well being. You can do it!
    3850 days ago
    What wonderful answers you have received to this blog. I agree with them both... I'm so glad that you blog about this as it gets it out in the open for you to "read" and examine. Do you "hear" what your saying?
    You need to take care of yourself 1st and foremost, as well as the rotts. Abuse is abuse and I agree with EASY2DO emoticon it just takes some planning in advance.
    EASY2DO, Sylvia and I stand ready to help in any way we can, just call on us if you need to.
    My prayers are with you.
    3851 days ago
    I lived in an abusive out...been happily married for years.....
    When you are isolated from your loved ones...treated abusively both verbally and emotionally...or worse is
    ABUSE!!...When you truly have had your fill you will find a way out. Until then, stop saying money.....It isn't the money...There are social services....Abuse
    s who want out and will share a place....I ask no one to do anything I haven't done myself.....I knwo that when you are abused you start to doubt yourself and your abilities....STOP! That is giving him power over you when you yourself turn against you.....Stop giving him weapons of destruction...Quietly invetigate abuse centers...there is legal aid if you can't afford an attorney...Pack a suitcase and walk...For a year tuck what little money you can away for your escape....Millions have done it before you....YOU CAN TOO!!!
    3851 days ago
  • ENUFF81020
    I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I understand that you are not being treated kindly or respectfully. Nobody should be living in a situation where they have to beg for common decency as well as basic needs. Is there any way the people who are being told lies can lend you a hand with this situation in some sort of support? You need emotional support as well as kindness and companionship in your life. Food, medical care, water, etc...go without saying. I wish I could do something for you, you are so far away from us. Hopefully sunshine and springtime will help the moods around you. I will pray for you and your furbabies and I will keep my "door" open to chat with you whenever you need to. Send me a Spark Mail when you need to talk--we can exchange phone numbers if you'd like and I'll talk with you on our dime. Just keep your chin up and know that you are loved and cared about. Hugs, Sylvia
    3851 days ago
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