Frightened but OKAY

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Last night was one of the worst nights I 've had since being a child. I hate being scarred and boy was I. All the dogs and I were taken by surprise. I was in my bedroom watching t.v. and out of the blew I had frozen meat being thrown at me. I had asked my husband in an early e mail around 10 a.m. if I could get something to eat. The freezer is in his area. No response hence no decent food. I had some snack stuff left from the seven years old but nothing diet smart to eat all day. It was seven o'clock and he went in to a rage. Still don't know what triggered him. He threw 12 packs of frozen meat ,some were roasts at me. Then the yelling began. I got the dogs and myself in my room and locked the doors. I don't scare easily but I was shaking like a leaf .I called my friend who started to blow me off and told him to call me in the morning to make sure I was alive. That got his attention and I got a chance to talk and calm down. He did call at 7 this morning. Even locked in my room with four large dogs I was afraid to really sleep.
I am still making calls. I didn't give up . I have a plan. He has finally agreed to get advice about a bankruptcy.
As of April 1st I will be changing medical coverage and he will no longer have to pay a penny and can no longer hold the cost over my head.
He knows about this site so I have to be careful of being monitored and can't give my whole plan away. He blames sparks for giving me the friends, support and advice to help me with my weight and get out. I can not express how much you all mean to me. I am stronger because of your help and caring. Stay with me it will be a long bumpy road but with you I know I can make my weight and get some place safe and be happy.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I just read your post. I agree that you need to get out of there. I don't know your whole story but having someone throwing roasts at you is terrifying. I don't know if you are aware of it but The Nat'l domestic abuse hot line can offer hope and help. The number is 1-(800) 799-SAFE or 7233. Historically, the problem isn't really that he's under strees and throws frozen roasts. The problem is he is an abuser and it's not safe for you or the dogs to be around him. I'll be sending thoughts of hope and courage to you. Please take care of yourself. That new little grandchild deserves to know her grandma.
    3839 days ago
    I'm glad you have your furry babies to protect you, and rip his throat out if necessary... I've been where you are, and it's not easy either way. Getting out can be just as dangerous as staying, so DEFINITELY work out a good plan, protect yourself financially and physically as much as possible, and go for your independence and freedom with all confidence and resolve:
    YOU DESERVE IT! emoticon
    Take care, Elizabeth~
    3852 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/15/2010 11:00:51 PM
    I had a friend very special to me that is dead because of a husband that did not want to take responsibility in his hands with his family. She left behind four children from twelve years to six months. I could see for a long time that something was wrong with her and every week sometimes two or more times would ask could I help in anyway. She never told me she was being abused by him, but I sensed that this was the problem because of her actions. She was isolated, withdrawn, seemed sad, only if she would have spoke up she could of gotten help. She was from another country so what ever this a___hole did was evidently ok. If you would have known this man you never would have thought that he would kill his wife or harm his family. In other countries there are no laws against physical abuse so she just accepted anything from him and she evidently thought she could change him. An abuser wants control and they will use anything to control the person they want to control, from verbal abuse to throwing things at you. The reason I am telling you this is not to scare you but to make you realize that something just snaps with an abuser and there is nothing you can do after a certain point, you are helpless. Get the help you need before it is late. We never want to admit there is a problem but sometimes it may save our live. The advice of Slimmerkiwi is good. emoticon emoticon
    3855 days ago
    Do you have a mobile phone?
    IF you do, does it have voice dial?
    IF it does then PLEASE have 911 entered in with a voice dial - perhaps the word "help" that only you can activate. THEN if the situation gets a bit hairy, USE THAT PHONE to call for proper help. Keep the phone on you at all times.
    Also, if the phone has a recording function, can you use that to record him while he is abusing you. Then you can use that as evidence against him if need be. I have recorded my husband on 3 occasions and have taken the tapes to my counsellor to listen to - and then wiped them. He doesn't know, but I feel that there is someone with some believable qualified credentials who can verify things should that need ever arise. He has never been physically violent tho'.

    Ideally, you should be getting well out of there - there are shelters you can go to and they will help you with all sorts of things, like finding suitable housing, food, medical, etc. etc. You can get a protection order against him. You are NOT safe - he has a very violent streak and one day it will be even worse - but for you there will be no return. IT IS THAT BAD!! At the very least, make sure that your Doctor has it on record what is happening.

    Take VERY good care,
    3855 days ago
  • MUSIC66
    omg get outof there that would of being scarry don,t blame you locking your self in your room with your dogs .
    3855 days ago
    My dear friend how awful that experience must have been..I am glad you have a plan..most controlling men do not like it when you are having friends..I've seen it over and over how they make the female alienate all their friends for did good..Prayers are coming your way! Don't wait until you can't take it anymore..put your plan into place..I am worried for your safety..
    emoticon emoticon
    3855 days ago
  • ENUFF81020
    Honey, You have to get out of there now. There are shelters and safe places for people like you. I know that you are worried about the dogs, but right now it is time to take care of you. There are also places you can call to get your dogs into safety--and maybe your friend can help you. I am dreadfully afraid because of the scene you described. Please make sure you let us know you are okay--or have your friend do so if it works better. You are too valuable and important for this kind of abuse.
    3856 days ago
  • -WISPY-
    Ive been there too Rottlady. It is very scary!! RB is a private team so if you want privacy nothing you post there will be read by anyone except the members - that is one of the main reasons for it being a closed group.

    I am so pleased you have all this support in SP.

    Hugs Wipy. emoticon
    3856 days ago
    This is very alarming and VERY scary. OMG!!!!

    I don't know your home living situation. What about your older sons? Can they help you get out? I saw their picture in your photo gallery and they look wonderful.

    The other women on this post are right. Get out, get out, get out asap. And take down your pictures and change your spark name. This was a very violent thing he did.

    OMG, you poor poor darling.!!!!!!!
    3856 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/11/2010 3:35:37 PM
    Please get out now, you have to move your plan up for your safety. If he is capable of this -- you need to leave and never go back.
    3856 days ago
  • SHERRY666
    This is terrible.......... living in fear all the time...... one day he's up the next you don't know....... it must be very scary being locked up in your bedroom....... with things getting throwing around........ I can relate to everything your going through........ I lived the same way for many years...... I had no friends.... or help....... I wish Sparks would have been around in those days.......... But you have friends here.... and we will be by your side until the end........ You need to get out of there fast..... I wish there was more I could do for you......... emoticon
    3856 days ago
  • BETRME100
    I honestly believe you need to get out NOW...there are shelters where you can be safe and find the help you need to get your life back...please call the police and tell them what has been going on...they will know exactly where you can go for need to put yourself deserve to be healthy and happy...keep us know there are so many of us here who are concerned about you.

    3856 days ago
    I'm sorry you are going through this. get out now. go to a shelter and get some help. there are many places that can help.
    3856 days ago
    We are all praying for you to be safe. Your situation is volatile...I'm really concerned about what's happening......I agree call the police, as well as that friend of yours, then you will have a paper trail to show the abuse.
    I've said it before and I'll say it again...You are #1, please take care of yourself and do what ever it takes to leave and find a safe home. Your place of living is NOT a home, it's becoming a prison for you as well as your beloved Rotts......
    Your in my prayers I only wish there was more that I could do.
    emoticon to you my Friend.
    3856 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5651955
    Oh, honey, I am so sorry this happened to you. Abuse is something that should never happen to anyone, physical or emotional. I've dealt with situations like this, not me personally but people I know, and do whatever you have to. Get a restraining order, stay with a friend, get counseling, whatever it takes do it and take care of YOU!
    3856 days ago
    Oh Rotlady... what a horrible situation you have landed in. I can't imagine anyone being so abusive. You need to get out and as soon as possible. I'm concerned he might be reading your post so let it be known, if anything happens to you, there is a host of people through the states who know exactly what he is capable of. His little game is no longer private. This won't help you if he goes nuts again dear so get out... the woman's abuse places are there to help people and I can't imagine why you should wait any longer to go. I will be praying for you.
    3856 days ago
    I am so worried about you. It is not safe there. Please make an emergency plan now. Don't wait. There has to be some place safe for you to be other than where your are now. I hesitate to call that place home because a home is usually a safe refuge and that place you are now is not. Keeping you in prayer.
    3856 days ago
    Oh my! My thoughts are with you, please be safe. Call the police next time if you can, I know that may give you more reason to be frighten, more ammo for him but getting these things 'on record' will surely help you in the log run...... Change your name on here, change your pictures, etc if you have too so he can't 'find' you on here, you need a safe place to talk and if this is it then make sure it is safe and untraceable.
    3856 days ago
    Call the police and ask about being moved into a safe home for abused women.
    3857 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    That is no husband. that is a wild crazy animal.
    Please be safe.
    Leave him if you can.
    Call the police.
    3857 days ago
    Be careful, and take good care of yourself. I'll be thinking and praying for you.
    3857 days ago
    I agree with DDoorn, there are shelters that you can go to and be safe.
    Your husband sounds to me like he has big problems but that is not your concern, he has to sort that out for himself.
    You need to think of number 1 at the moment, yourself. No=one has to put up with that sort of behavior from anyone. So I would suggest that you find a shelter for abused women in your area.
    You are in my prayers.
    3857 days ago
    Stay safe and please consider a shelter...there must be such a resource in your area...? The locations of such places are kept secret and only known by the police to maintain maximum safety for residents.

    3857 days ago
    We're right here, love, we're not going anywhere. I know all too well what it's like to be a victim of domestic violence~one of the scariest things I've ever experienced. Your strength frightens him. You're gaining control over your life. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this kind of treatment. Can you contact any women's services when you're online? When you're ready, they can help you take steps to take care of yourself and get you someplace safe. Well done for looking after your health and losing weight. Hang in there, let us know how you're doing~ you're stronger than you know. Hugs, T
    3857 days ago
    Perhaps you should contact your sons for help. Or call an abuse hotline.
    3857 days ago
    please just leave him all together... my heart sank when i read ur story emoticon

    be strong for urself.
    3857 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Do you have a safe place to go? I feel that you are not in a good (or safe) environment with your husband. Please be careful and seek help.
    3857 days ago
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