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Does This Bother You?

Monday, March 22, 2010

You are at a restaurant with a friend and after your food arrives and you have eaten a few bites, your friend calls the waitress/ waiter over and reads them the "riot act" (in her outside voice) about a problem with her food. The waitress/waiter apologizes and offers to take the food back and bring a replacement. Your friend is rude and not accepting the apology, but she says that she will try another serving. That order comes; she doesn't even thank the server; she eats this serving; and then, loudly, says that she isn't going to leave a tip and will probably NEVER come to this restaurant again!!! You want to crawl under the table from embarrassment!!! If this were a one-time occurrance, you could maybe accept it, but it has happened before, so you decide to NEVER go out to eat with her again. I don't know about you, but when I am out to eat, I feel very lucky to be fortunate enough to be there. On occassion, you may get a meal that you are not happy with, but there is a way to handle this that doesn't involve being rude to anyone. The wait staff is the most accessable and often takes the brunt of the situation. If you have ever worked as a waitress/waiter, you know that it is a hard job with little pay. I worked as a waitress in High School and in college and should have written a book about all of the experiences I had, both positive and not-so-much. Now, when we go out to eat, I find myself tipping even more than suggested because I know how hard they work.
Does a person like the friend I described above bother any of you? How have you handled this situation?
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  • FLAME42
    Sadly, we did know someone who made complaints about almost any restaurant they went to. However they didn't do it a real loud voice, it was still embarassing to be with them. Fortunately they moved out of the area and we don't see them very often any more. They do seem to have mellowed a little with age.
    3551 days ago
    I've never had an experience like that & hope I never do. A no-win situation for all involved.
    3551 days ago
    I've been in exactly the same situation. My friend/neighbor did this constantly. I came to expect it. It's called 'high maintenance' and the pay off is that they get the extra little attention they are desperate for. Yet she never pulled this stunt at the diner behind our complex (where she frequently ordered takeout) because she knew it would jeopardize her business with them. I stopped going out to dinner with her. Otherwise I would have made a joke about it and called her 'high maintenance' in front of the waitress, but people like that might turn on you. Sometimes they just don't get it. Choose your battles.
    3551 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/22/2010 2:28:30 PM
  • GRAMMIE1959
    rather bothersome is just a bit too polite. I have a sibling who spouts off at restaurants, stores and even banks. Embarrassing?-Oh my! We were raised by the same parents so I wonder why they behave so badly. Makes me think more than twice about going out with that person.
    3551 days ago
  • no profile photo DSQUARED3
    When you pay money for your food and it is not good there is an appropriate and polite way to let someone in charge know. In my opinion, you should let them know but be nice about it!! I can't say that I have any friends that would EVER do something so embarrassing and not sure It would be a positive thing for me to continue with that relationship - obviously they have no concern over my comfort level in that situation (a little selfish maybe?) BUT.....I do have family members that will do that. It is uncomfortable!!!
    3551 days ago
    I had a friend just like that! It drove me nuts. A close friend of mine is a waiter and he lives in Clinton MA. He makes 2.50 and hour plus tips. I cant even imagine having to put up with what he does sometimes for that kind of money.

    Anyway a friend of mine did that often, after i had spoken with her about it privately i thought she would stop. At least while i was with her. Well one night we were at a restaurant and she started doing the same thing again. I wasn't going to sit there and listen to it anymore. So when she started making a scene i just got louder than she was and said "Jessica you are never happy with your order. Something is always wrong. I don't know if you do it because it makes you feel better to yell at someone or if you do it for a free meal but im done listening to it." So after everyone turned to look i gave the waiter 50 bucks to cover my meal and a 30 dollar tip for them ( i wanted to make up for the embarrassing scene they had to deal with lol) And i bent down to her and told her i now hoped she knew what it felt like to be yelled at in public.

    Was it the best way to handle the situation? Probably not. However i didn't lose any sleep over it and i never had to deal with eating in public with her again.
    3551 days ago
  • MEGANC1988
    Yikes! Sounds like you shouldn't bother to eat out with that friend again. My friend's a waitress so it's incredibly embarrassing when I see some one being rude.
    3551 days ago
    WOW, I would be very bothered by what you described. My husband, being from the Bronx always feels you should be nice to waitstaff even if there is a problem (otherwise they may spit in your food, LOL.) I would have said to my friend that there is no reason to be rude and I would be happy to speak to the waitress for her. You're issue makes me wonder if your friend is like that normally, or if she was just really upset about something else that day?
    3551 days ago
    I agree with you, if you have a complaint with the food you quietly take it up with the server, or even the manager. Creating a "riot act" only embarrasses yourself and whomever is with you. My decision would not be going out anywhere with that friend either.
    3551 days ago
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