JENNNVA

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What my avoidance costs me

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I’ve read many blogs lately regarding the choices we make in life. Some of those choice cause us to “fall of the wagon” or fail. Some of those choices lead to success. Either way, those choices set the scene for the events that follow.

It’s all a matter of how you choose to handle situations in life. As I read in another blog this week. Which path do you choose? I tend to choose the path of least resistance, the one that is comfortable, secure and calm. But what does that do for me? It keeps me exactly where I am. Is that what I want out of life? Absolutely not! I know I’m capable of so much more!

I’m one to bury myself into other things in order to avoid the negative feelings associated with events in life. I know myself well. What has this cost me? Too much! Not to mention those negative feelings still come and go. Chalk it up to stress, worry or just plain FEAR. Running from something never solves anything. I lived numb to the fact that my mother had stage 4 breast cancer and would never be cured. Then when she passed, it made it that much harder because I avoided reality.

I run a small successful accounting and tax business on the side. I’ve had it for about 15 years now and it has grown by referrals only with no effort on my part. My dream would be to go full time with it one day and work for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my full time job and the owner is great. But there’s nothing like being your own boss. (Or so I’m told) But what stops me? Fear – I love the security my full time job gives and the benefits. I won’t have that at first when I branch out, nor will I have the income I’m used to. So I think about it, get scared and crawl back into my security blanket. My avoidance or fear has cost me from branching out on my own. I’ve given it too much control in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I would have taken the step years ago, I imagine what it would be like now. I admire those who have the courage to face their fears and really look at the negatives, determine what the underlying currents are and deal with them.

As Katmomma3 has told me “What you avoid is what you need to face!”

Time to face the music and change the tune. I’m not sure how yet but where there is a will there’s a way!


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Jenn
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPIDER16
    Powerful blog, thankyou for sharing. emoticon
    3992 days ago
  • PERSISTENT_GIRL
    you sure will keep challenging yourself and reaping so many benefits! You are courageous in your own ways and when you had enough of playing it safe you will change! Look for a sign! there are many!
    3993 days ago
  • SEKSUNSHINE
    Great! Now you know the fear, now the struggle begins within yourself even more. What will it take to get out to the box? You pushing you, or something unforeseen pushing you? You have made a great step in writing this blog. Are you ready for the next one? I think you are. Take that step and you will never be sorry. emoticon
    3994 days ago
  • NOTGIVINGUP49
    Jennva, thank you so much for your blog! I too have taken the path of least resistance. I truely want to change my path and need to face my fears as well. It is not easy, but I believe we can do this with committment, mindfulness, strength, and courage! I am proud of you for your realization! emoticon
    3994 days ago
  • FITKAT2010
    You made a real effort here to share your inner struggles. For that I give you applause. You never really answered the question though, did you?

    You will....soon enough.

    Proud of you dear friend.

    This took courage. You came out of the closet today.
    3994 days ago
  • MSWEEZER
    I hear you loud and clear and I too have heard this from our friend KATMOMMA. I too am in 'safe' mode at the present time. I, unlike you, KAT, and SEK have no side business. I don't know of anything I could ever get going to make any $$ at. I too like to have my own $$ and rather than working less. I'm hoping for a different job within the school that would pay more but I'd be working a bit more too. Time will tell. Hang in there. We'll talk more next month!!!
    3994 days ago
  • LATVIAN_SANDY
    Oh Jennva - THANK YOU for posting this! I feel the same in many ways. I am quite unhappy with many things in my life, but fear of change is preventing me from doing anything about it. I'm only working part time, even though financially I really NEED a full time job, and even this part time job was practically handed to me. I'm scared to be rejected if I go seek something else. So I'm glad you posted, since I know I need to face those fears and make something of my life if I want to be happy.

    Wishing you strength, courage, and happiness! emoticon
    3994 days ago
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