Saturday, March 27, 2010
For some reason my computer has not allowed me to post for a whole week. Suddenly success.
Last weekend I spent three days in a motel. I saw my new grandson, who refused to open his eyes once. He is healthy. Parent a little tired. I am so proud of my youngest son. He has stepped up and has been a wonderful help to his wife both in labor and delivery and at home. He is attentive and protective. Had a hard time getting a chance to hold my grandson. I include Anthony so he didn't feel left out. Each time I visited I took him with me. He told my son that the baby has an older brother that he was going to be in Benjamin's life and look after him since I couldn't always be there. My son actually took it in stride and didn't reject Anthony's statement of being his big brother.
I took my rott Mara with me.. She was a jewel. I've been training her to help me with my disability and she did fantastic. Every harness, cape or set up I put on her she was great. She did garage sales, church everything but the pool at the hotel with me.I know now why god created an instant bond between us and that I had to get her from the abuse she was surviving in.I wish her two pups had survived. There loss still saddens me. I didn't want to return. I enjoyed the experience and returning to hell was hard. I am back in nightly lock up for about 12 hours a day. I can only handle the put downs and everything being wrong with the world being my fault for so long a day and then I get tired of fighting to be a worthy person.
I thank god everyday for my finding this website and the friends I have found here.
Benjamin Thomas at one week old