Almost one year into Spark People-my first blog

Monday, April 05, 2010

I haven't wanted to blog because it feels so private, but here it is.
AAAAAggghhh, I am doing it again. I am highly capable of following a healthy eating plan /syle for a year or even more and then when I start getting close to goal and my clothes are fitting nicely and I am feeling better I start to self-sabotage. I quit tracking on my WW, I start weighing in every other week or so and then I ljust let go of some part of myself and just shove the chocolate, chips or hot tamale candies in my mouth. It is such a self-sabotage. I have been on WW 3 times in the last 5 years. This time I added Sparkpeople and have lost almost 40 lbs but I have gained and lost the same 2 lbs over the last 2 months. And these last 2 weeks I just sort of gave up, I am sure Iam probably up about 5lbs. I usually go weigh in on Tuesday. I have a wonderful leader and her assistants are awesome. I guess my plan is to go early and try to talk to them.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey Jennifer!

    You are doing Awesome! Don't look at it as self-sabotage! Look at it like a System Reboot with awareness! We all want to enjoy everything life has to offer within our morality awareness. If we believe chocolate or whatever else is against our healthy food plan... then yes, it becomes a binge and sabotage, but if we enjoy it, in moderation, without guilt... then it is simply a pleasure in life that we have along with all the healthy stuff! I hope I am making sense!

    Basically... don't beat yourself up! You are and have been working hard, and you ARE doing this!

    If you were a member of team System Reboot... this would be considered a confession... the end! Great First Blog by the way! I hope this blog and your awesome friends, as I am very behind in replying to this... have allowed you to get refocused and on the track you want to be on!

    3644 days ago
  • JESSIE_130
    Hi Jen... just read your blog.

    If you haven't done this yet today... step on the scale. Yes, right now!
    Know the facts.

    I've been there, too. I think a lot of us start to revert to our old habits and forget the wonderful new habits that we created with WW and/or Sparky. We need to keep reminding ourselves of our goals and the steps that we will take to get there.

    When you start to slide a little don't avoid the scale.

    Make a new commitment to weigh yourself every morning. I know that's excessive. But, start there. When you start to see the scale move in a positive direction, you can decide how many times a week you will weigh yourself - 1, 2 or more. The scale can help you get motivated and back on track.

    Good luck. emoticon
    3649 days ago
    Hi dear new Sparkie friend...talk about the 'Queen of Self Sabatage' that's me with a capital M! Here's what I've learned since joining SparkPeople last June. Losing weight, exercising and taking care of yourself takes TIME! I heard an article the other day that said that most over-weight people are MASSIVE givers! They put everything and everybody before themselves. You have to get out of that mindset and it's developing new habits. I REFUSE to put garbage into my mouth because I know it triggers the "I gotta have MORE" button. I used to use WW and I think it's a good program but I've never agreed with the point system...why not call a calorie a calorie a calorie..but then duh the light bulb went off emoticon that's how they keep you coming back to the meetings! I make a concentrated effort to eat RAW/CLEAN...I'm eating REAL food and therefore I don't have temptations to eat junk. Eating junk triggers the hungry button because you aren't getting any nutrients. Check out my blogs..talk about revealing the good, the bad, the ugly...but it keeps me REAL....hugs to you... I hope I can cheer you on...you've made wonderful headway...keep on keepin' on and mostly LOVE yourself and the beauty that you are! emoticon
    3650 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2010 8:15:46 AM
    Es fantastico de por si que ayais perdido las 40 lbs! Tu sabes que lo puedes hacer...
    Adelante sigue con la cabeza alta y no dejes que nada te distraiga!

    3650 days ago
  • PAM1864
    Hi Jennifer, don't worry I too went through this. But our sparkfriends are very helpful. They motivate and inspire each other. Without the support of our friends we cannot achieve our goal and the best way is to let them know by blogging so they can help. We are all together in this fitness and nutrition journey. Feel free to share all your huddle and achievements with everyone. No one is perfect and we all are here to learn to live a healthy life. So welcome aboard. emoticon

    3650 days ago
  • NIMI4444IN
    i kno how u feel, i too feel blogging was private n so hv'nt blogged till now, SP is the first place where i started blogging & i definitely love blogging here. hv got quite sm friends in SP.

    u r doing gr8. waiting for ur next blogs. :-)
    3651 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Hey, I know exactly how you feel. It took me a very long time to find success. I was on WW 3 times. If I didn't continue to exercise or consume 8 glasses of wster per day, I started to gain weight back. I always ended up back at my starting weight. My DH and I are walking and exercising together. Once he started exercising with me I was able to stay at my goal weight. If you don't have an exercise partner, find one. It really helps.
    3651 days ago
    I have been in a funk and yes like you said self sabatoge, well today I just said enough is enough and pushed that funk away and said today is a new day, a fresh start. i dont want to go backwards not after all the work i have done and how great it feals.
    look at all the good, and positive you have done, and how good you felt, its never to late to start fresh, come on start fresh with me today. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    PS great blogging and look at all the support you got,blogging works!
    3651 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/5/2010 7:27:20 PM
    At least you caught yours early enough that you didn't completely undo all your hard work. I stopped everything and now I am back up to the weight I was when I first joined Sparkpeople. Your blog was excellent and don't worry about it being too private. This is a place where you can pretty much blog about anything you need to say. I am a very private person so none of my blogs ever really deal with my issues.If you do think you have gotten too personal, you can always delete it. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3651 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3248497
    Well you have some great comments already, but I will say this. I think the fact that you haven't given up, you are still on spark and still want to make things happen count a lot. Many times people only think that if you are losing weight/inches is progress, but sticking with it shows a lot of progress. You can do this! You know you can, but I agree it doesn't get easier over time. Just keep on keeping on. Start tracking those WW points and get some movement in. Remind yourself how awesome you will feel when you are done.

    Good luck!
    3651 days ago
  • -DEBY-

    You are not alone... I am going through a similar situation... I have just come to think that possibly my body needs some time to fluxuate a bit with the new body weight... LOL at least that is what I am hoping for... I have Faith in you, in US.. We can do this... please remember... be gentle with yourself during the disappointments ... and Celebrate with the accomplishments..

    hugs ~~Deby
    3651 days ago
    Just hang in there, sweetie! Sounds as though you have wonderful support and I'm sure you know that there are "stalls" in weight loss. Be patient and KEEP GOING! YOU'RE DOING GREAT! XO MaryAnn emoticon
    Congrats on the weight you've already lost.....!!!!!! emoticon
    3651 days ago
    talking about it with people who can give you good advice is great. venting about how you're feeling is good too; i understand that it can get pretty personal, and i'd suggest at least talking to someone you trust or writing out a private journal for yourself when you just don't feel like advertising some things : )
    you have come such a long way; and i can tell you from my personal experience, it helps to change up my strategy/keep trying to look at and do things differently as i go along. remember there is always support to be found, and that tomorrow is another day!

    --thanks for sharing your thoughts : )
    3651 days ago
  • POSEY440
    Hang in there and just try not to be so rough on yourself. we are here for support, you have to watch what you eat and make the decision what you want to put into your body.
    It has to be realistic hang in there. emoticon
    3651 days ago
    You can do this. Don't be discourage just know that we are all in this journey together. We're not perfect but striving to succeed. I suggest tracking your food intake it has helped me tremendously. Also try menu planning for the week that way you know what you calorie intake will be in advance and leave room for rewarding yourself with something you love but don't need too much of. I know that you have what it takes to be successful now you just need to believe it.
    3651 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4572709
    Hey.. I have made no progress at all since the new year. I had lost 18lbs and all but 4lbs is back. I am doing WW too. But don't be afraid to add some other things.. I find calories suit me better than points so I use Sparkpeople nutrition, faster than the WW site. I have added Paul McKenna I can Make You Thin at the suggestion of my son so I have added hypnosis. Keep it at the forefront, keep yourself busy, do things that interest you.. and maybe read my blog for another idea I had.
    3651 days ago
    4DancingCats--don't give up. I repeat---do NOT give up! Keep on dancing. And tracking and weighin in---and confessing when you self-sabotage. Just don't give up.

    As for those last two pounds that you keep losing and finding--why not stop losing them? It's natural when we "lsoe" something, that we wish to find it. Why not just gently and lovingly release those last 2 lbs. That way they won't be lost and you won't feel the need to self-sabaotage (i.e., "find" them again). Just let them go. They've served their purpose. Now they may go to that great "fat farm in the sky) or wherever it is that our excess fat goes and rest in peace. emoticon
    3651 days ago
    Sounds like they can provide great advice.
    Another place that might work for you is the At Goal and Maintaining team. Even if you haven't reached goal, we discuss lots of issues that creep into our lives.
    3651 days ago
  • TAREN584
    Weight watchers, like any other food based diet plan, is a good start, but ultimately i think it is about learning to apply those things you learn and be able to adjust your own cooking to be able to maintain the weight loss. I've never been on WW, but i tried nutrisystem, and once i went off of it i started gaining because i didn't know how to cook my own food to stay with the weight loss. I love that SP is digital and there is no writing down and then doing the math myself involved in the process. For the most part, on sparkpeople, i eat what i want, but i also record everything. Thus, i can look at it later and say, well, i'm going to do better this week, or today; i'm going to forgo the snickers, or the ice cream, or that extra serving that made me stuffed to the gills. I try to eat mostly fruits, veggies, and legumes which cuts down on a lot of processed foods and calories- also sodium! Sorry that i'm going on and on, but one thing i've learned from SP is that we are all a work in progress. Today's a new day; do better today.
    3651 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    3651 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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