Tuesday, May 11, 2010
It always seems after a great loss week, I completely get off track. Which happened this past weekend. I got some good workouts in, and I ran my first ever 5K in 27:06. I am feeling good about it since I haven't been training for running long distance. I also feel good because I didn't slow to a walk at all until the final mile. I hit mile marker 2 at about 17 minutes, which means I am only about 30 seconds off from getting 100% on my PT test for my run. And this was running hills and all that craziness. I think as long as I continue on the path that I am on, I will do great come October.
After the run, it all kind of went downhill. I drank all night Saturday night, and then me and my boyfriend got into it really badly on Sunday. I was upset because he was playing video games with his little headset and ignoring me. Now, I am not the nagging girlfriend who feels she should have his attention at all times. BUT- when we have time setup for us to spend together, I don't think I should have to watch him play some game I have absolutely no interest in. I've watched him play MANY games, and we have played several together, but I just wasn't feeling it.
Anyway, so after we got into an arguement, and I took all of my stuff home from his house and told him he needs to rethink his values and all that jazz, I invited my cousin Dani over and we drank all night... Needless to say, when I woke up (on time) yesterday morning, I didn't feel like going to work. I layed in bed all day watching Dexter and eating unreasonable food. I was crying on and off, and just feeling really dark. I hate when I get into those little bouts with depression because I am always scared it will become horrible like it was when I was a teenager.
Bruce came and got me last night, and we talked about a lot of things. We are going to start having a lot more time apart so that when we have time together, we really appreciate each other more. With us moving in together later this year, we need to make sure we can have our personal space and time so we don't drive each other crazy. I love him very much.
By the way, it probably didn't help my mood that I was told by my cousin that my grandma was telling everyone that I got busted with cocaine a few weeks back, and I got out of it because I am in the military. I can't even begin to understand how this rumor got started, or WHY. But what I can say is that going to visit my family is like going back to high school for a day. Who ever isn't there, is having lies spread about them. It has always been that way, and I am thankful I have put some distance between myself and these people. I have nothing in common with them besides blood lines, and I am sooo thankful I am old enough to not have to deal with their BS.
Thanks for reading my rant. I am starting the week a little late, but going to push through and come out on the other end successfully.