Update and what I have learned.....

Monday, May 17, 2010

Many of you know the story of my original weight loss. 230-168 with Chalean and Spark, but this is after last summer and until now.
After reaching my goal weight, my workout regimen went from daily to every other day for resistance training and from cardio daily to just walking most days. Now this would have been fine because my workouts were intense and I did have periods of more intensity, but my eating also slipped. I went back to old habits of eating at night, not eating enough during the day, skipping meals, or just not eating enough good stuff with too much bad stuff in between lol. Slowly the scale moved up. I lied to myself and said it's water or ignored the scale all together. My size didn't really change much so I ignored it.
All the while my muscles were weakening and atrophying and the fat was multiplying (taking place where the weight from the muscle was less). By the end of December the doctor said I was up 30lbs! In about 3.5 months! I have learned I have to watch every bite or else I gain and gain fast. Everyone is different, but this is something you have to play with once you hit your maintainance weight. This has happened before. Fast weight gain. At least I already knew what I needed to do about it!Or I thought I knew...
Did any of you see Oprah's show about the new book Women, Food, and God? Well it touches on alot of my lessons learned. I went back to the healthy eating, keeping a record of what I ate, exercising daily but not overdoing it. For the first 6-8 weeks I lost 20 lbs and did great! Things slowed a bit in March cause my healthy eating slacked and in April I had surgery and didnt exercise for a few weeks. I continued with my resistance workouts in those months but the eating wasn't great so I didn't lose but a few lbs and went up/down a few times. Then mid April...I put on a bikini from last summer. Well I was only 5lbs above and the suits looked decent except up top. something caused a big change there, hormones maybe, and they havent returned, they're bigger. WTF? So I decided for the 2nd half of April and all of May to step up all my workouts and really eat as healthy and natural as possible. It's working and that's all great but the other piece of the puzzle hasn't been mentioned.
I thought I worked out all my issues that made me fat, but if that was the case, I wouldn't be doing this again and again. I gained the weight b/c my marriage was falling apart and I was alone at night with my baby while he was on the couch. I was lonely. So I ate. I also felt guilty for the problems and that gave me anxiety, so I ate. Even now, I feel guilty for not being a good enough mom, for her not being able to see her dad, for being in pain and not being able to work, and all of these feelings lead to anxiety which I comforted with food or smoking or both. I started telling people how I feel and talking it out as much as I can. I also write in a journal. I had to do a lot of soul searching to figure this out in the first place.
Now I cook dinners for the 2 of us that finish up about 630-7. This gives me enough time to clean up, take puppies out, and get my daughter ready for bed. Then I'm asleep and don't have time to eat! It helps. If I want to smoke I'm chewing gum. The Chantix was a lifesaver too! I'm going to quit smoking and lose weight and maintain and that's the plan! I will post pics soon!
I'm only a few lbs from my first goal again and going to surpass that in no time! I'm enjoying fitness again and loving the meals we are having. My lil girl is learning about living healthy the right way!
Here are a few steps that may help you reach your goals. If you need more help, let me know. Friend me on FB also. I am always willing to help. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep us up to date! You are one of the people who inspire me, and I will do my best to return the support. It is time to love yourself enough to take care of yourself the same way you were this time last year. Do that, and you will enjoy the path back to your best fitness.

    3061 days ago
  • WAY2GO5
    Well done, you look as tho you have many accomplishments, and congratulations for being voted a Motivator!
    3548 days ago
    Women, Food, and God?? Didn't see that book, but am interested to look it up!
    Came across your blogs due to searching out Chalean - just getting ready to start her Extreme program. Thanks for sharing!
    3807 days ago
    Glad to see you blogging again. The nice thing about SparkPeople is that it's always here.

    I didn't see the Oprah show you are referring to, but it sounds very interesting.
    3808 days ago

    I could not believe that we gained weight for the same reasons - how you worded that better than I could. My husband is always downstairs on the couch or playing golf. If he isnt playing it he is watching it. I am alone in Delaware with no family - just my children. But, I decided that I needed to make changes- I did and the weight started coming off. After all, did I really need one more thing to be unhappy about? - so my weight was one of the first changes that I made. I still have my struggles but I am learning everyday. I did see that episode of Oprah and I am looking forward to reading the book. As for being a Mom and the guilt and worry - I dont think that ever goes away...in alot of ways that is a great thing and means that you are in fact a great Mommy. Always striving to be the best you can and do the best you can is what makes you a great Mother. Enjoy everyday with your little girl - they grow up fast.

    3809 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.