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Why is family so tough to deal with?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I love my sister. Since my dad's passing, she is all I have. That being said, I have to tell you, I cannot talk about weight loss with her. Not ever. She is constantly critical. Recently, she told me that when I was thin I looked SO OLD and that I look much better heavier.
Now, she is not thin, but as she is much taller than myself, she always looks so statuesque. If I tell her I am trying to lose weight, she will be snarky. Whenever we go over to see her, she will serve all my favorites and nag me to eat them. You know, "Oh, come on! Just a bit!' and this one, (Has anyone else gotten this?)
"You were much more fun when you ate!"
I guess she thinks I'm more jolly as a fat person.
Anyway, We will be going up there for Memorial Day, and I really needed to get this off my chest!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Family is so much fun but......there is a lot to be said for ignoring most of what family members say. Chances are your sister makes her comments to justify the way she is and not the way you are. It is your choice, your journey...ignore her. Have a great memorial weekend. emoticon
    3979 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2361197
    I agree with all of you, oh your much better when you were heavier. well me i felt fat and i hated it today i am at goal and maintaining it. my family is the same way, I have tryed to get my sister on sparks but no luck and they are heavier they eat what they want and i know its not healthy for them but i cant say anything we arent very slow.
    I wish you the best of luck when you go up to see them on memorial day. and just tell her you feel better and healthier and just take what you want to eat in small portions and back away and drink your water, she is probadly also jealous at you for trying to stay healthy and be happy on the inside and outside, you can do it, do what you do and just tell your sister to check out sparks and see for her self. she could be happy herself and healthier. good luck.
    3982 days ago
    Oh that is so sad! All my life I wanted a real sister and had brothers who I love,but a sister,wow I thought having a sister would be so emoticon . She is an adult, life is to short for this kind of negative behavior. She better watch out,your Spark peoples will have a positive,firm talk with her about this matter. If you want a virtual sister on this well being journey I would be honored and I promise I will try to be positive and kind to you. Best Wishes and I will send a prayer to you to help, somehow to help her.I often tell our children;19,13,and 11 to always try to keep in touch with each other when they get older and try to get along even when they disagree and remember they are brother and sisters and show each other respect and kindess and compassion as they might need one another in time of crisis.Of course they have disagreements and are angry at each other now and then,but somehow they problem solve and are okay,until round 2,3and..My emoticon and care,Diana emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3984 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/18/2010 11:17:19 PM
    You've heard the saying "to thine own self be true." Sometimes you just have to ignore the prodding of others who, while they may might think they are well meaning, are really crushing our spirit. Don't let them cause you to loose focus. I know, you're saying "easy for him to say." but it's true. And, you are right it is very insensitive of your sister to treat you that way. Of all people you would think she could come across with a little understanding.

    On the other hand, there are ways to still be a part of the party and participate in the eating of the foods while watching your dietary intake. Just prepare in advance by adjusting your intake, eat lightly while there, and make adjustments afterward. I've used this technique and it has worked for me.
    3985 days ago
    Perhaps your sister is jealous of you and doesn't want you to lose weight while she will be heavy alone. Keep up what you are doing and try not to talk about weight loss to her. Keep it away from her and continue to stay on track. When she offers your favourites simply say No thanks and leave it at that. Don't let her bother you! You are making yourself HEALTHY for YOU and YOU are doing great!!
    3985 days ago
    My husband did that to me just a few weeks ago. He told me that I am no fun anymore when he was eating a PUPU Platter from the chinese restaurant. I just laughed at him and said well I am trying to be happy with myself.
    3985 days ago
    So sorry that there isn't more support from your sis. You have a lot of insight about the relationship, and you CAN work with what "is." As you know, you can't change her. What you can do is manage YOUR reactions, etc. It's great that you use SP to get out some of your frustration/disappointment. Hopefully, you'll get a plan of action for the Holiday, including not being reactive to the stuff she'll say, food she serves, etc. You CAN do this! Keep us posted--we want to know how it goes. Anne emoticon emoticon
    3985 days ago
    Wow, it is like we are sisters LOL. I have the same problem with my sister. Since she has never had a weight issue (or had to lose more than 10lbs at a time) anytime I bring up the issue she will say something stupid like "just dont eat it" or "I just dont understand how you do this to yourself." And my personal favorite "you want to be fat."

    So I really feel your pain. I just dont talk to her about it anymore.

    As for her making the fatning food for you, I think that is mean. I think you should say you already ate but you will take some home and just throw it away when she is not looking.
    3985 days ago
    I am so sorry that you are going through sounds to me like your sister just doesn't want you to lose weight or not eat so that she won't be alone in her eating..does that make sense...I know sometimes I feel that way if everyone around me is making good choices and I am not I NEED someone over on the other side with me...maybe you just need to tell your sister that while she thinks you were more fun when you ate you were NOT happy on the inside..tell her that in order for you to be a good sister you need to be happy inside and in order to do that you need to be healthy AND is worth a try...good luck....
    3985 days ago
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