Time For Change

Yup ... its finally sinking in that I AM FAT!!!

For so long I've been kidding myself. I look in the mirror and I dont really look all that bad I tell myself. I've just gotta do some ab exercises and I'll be fine. Its alright ... dont worry about it.

For so long I've half heartedly tried diets and joined this and that to lose weight, but after a couple of weeks that all flags by and Im back to the 'norm.' Chowing down on fast food, chocolate, Coke and junk in general. I kid myself by telling everyone and myself that I'm addicted to it. But am I??

Food is my comforter. I've been thinking about me when I was slim. When I had some pride in myself. When I was happy to go clothes shopping. When I didnt feel like a fat pig eating a pie in the car, and thinking everyones thinking the same thing ... eww whata pig, no wonder shes so fat!

I want to be able to see food like I used to. That its not there to eat JUST BECAUSE IT'S THERE!! I used to eat only when I was hungry. I rarely ate junk food or bought Coke. I dont know why my eating habits have changed so radically.

My life has changed radically, so maybe they go hand in hand. I dont have the control over my life like I used to. Life in general, kids and now grandkids all come into the picture. I dont have the time. I dont have the energy. I dont have the $$$ ... do you hear the excuses creeping in.

Well time to kick them to the curb and find the old me. The one I looked after and was proud of. The one my husband met and fell in love with. Where O where did she go.

Help me find her ....